training a winchester
by razane.abouzaid
Summary: john is taking Sam away from dean to start his training and it is not just any training it is the one that can make him an official hunter so how things will go after d can Sam be the soldier he knows his dad wants
1. Chapter 1

And there they were the Winchester's men sitting around the dinner table eating a normal fast food meal as they always did. And strangely they were laughing and enjoying each other.

"So dad how was that hunt that you pulled off lately I heard that it was a tough one" said dean with all the confidence he could pull off.

"So son from were or let me say who actually told about the hunt in the first place!" john was actually joking himself around with dean he didn't really mind the kid knowing but he did mind to know the one who was telling him.

"Well you know I have a lot of resources and people to help me through your plans and actions" said dean sarcastically but he was met instead with deep looks that send him all anxious and trembling.

"So you were looking threw my stuff?" john actually knows that dean wouldn't search in his belongs without a permission he knows the kid too much even if either of them doesn't quietly admit it.

"What! Dad …. Sir no I wasn't... what made you think of that …well actually I... mmm… Caleb told me I didn't ask but he mentioned it and I was aaammm you know you didn't tell me anything so?!" dean was surprisingly finding a hard time to come up with what he wanted to say it seems that his words left him all alone for this battle and john was keeping out a laugh of his own along with a confused Sammy, but dean was confused cause he knew the consequences of looking threw his dad's stuff as well as Sammy

" take it easy son it doesn't matter but there was something important that I want to tell you Sammy " Sam was silent all this time locked in his own thoughts this was actually the only time that his family seemed at least normal but he knew deep down he knew that it is not going to last.

"Yeah! " Indeed sam was lost in his mind if he actually had a one to respond to his dad like that.

"Excuse me young man!?" said john throwing is son a threating glare.

"sorry I mean yes sir "Sam corrected himself instantly knowing what would be the consequences of his fall asleep word that his father hated just hated his sons unaware of what's happening around them because he knew that these actions no matter how small they were might put them in danger sometimes and he couldn't tolerate it but he is not going to push it through this time because Sammy is going to learn that and a whole new stuff real soon just like his brother did.

"So Sammy you are 3 months away from turning on 16 "said john with all the pride he felt but it didn't register the same reaction from his eldest son who dropped the food of his hands like it was poisoning him he locked petrified and worried so worried than he ever seen him and it looked like sam saw it too

"Yes, I know. Hey dean what is wrong? you look so pale !" thought dean didn't hear him he was too hurt and scared to notice he was in his own mind reliving what it seemed like an anguish memory , and dean never digged his memories except when thinking of his mom and that sent sam puzzled not knowing what to do until dean finally found his voice

"Sir, please I'll do it I'll train him just like you did with me just …. "With all pleading eyes and it seemed like his voice cracked at the end and the fact that his brother said sir and please at the same sentence meant that he was begging the older man and sam sent his eyes straight to his dad as if asking for explanations but yet not expecting any.

" dean !?" and that syllable was enough to send his brother silent and contempling the floor seeing more interested in her patterns than a losing battle it wasn't all that angry nor all that compassionate but it held some understanding seeing how protective dean was and just when sam was about asking some questions his dad turned his focus to him continuing " these 3 months you're going to spend them with me training " an although it seemed very simple sam questioned it since nothing is that simple in the Winchesters way of handling matters .

"but I already know the basics from you and I train with dean every day practically all of it so what kind of training do you really mean "that was true since they grew up in a military way that no child should be raised in it even bobby and others helped training them to be able to protect themselves and their family. they rarely slept with no pain at all it was either aching muscles or injuries or broken bones and dislocated shoulders it was always something that kept them from sleeping comfortably . It was their life and they accepted it.

"It is another kind of training it's for survival and to learn some skills that can keep you stay alive. and we are heading tomorrow so say good bye to your brother because you won't be seeing him for quite a time " and all of a sudden dean raised his head looking at sam and saying " I hope you make it brother and stay alive" just listening the word stay alive broke john's heart and it sliced him to know that he is the one causing all the pain and suffering for his sons he raised them in a different way he was too hard on them he didn't accept any mistakes or misbehaviors nor even simple actions that were considered normal for their ages and they got punished severely for each and every one of those though it didn't stop them from doing more nor stopped their father from punishing them but he knew he needed them strong so he shut his heart for these emotions with that he rose to his feats and went to the closest part to forget his own pain .dean was already in his bed and that left sam alone on the table not really sure of what just happened because one minute they were all happy and in another the atmosphere went all dark and crazy and he did not get all the worry about this training what was about he didn't get but he knew that what was absenting his brother wouldn't certainly amuse him … so he went to his bed stared to his brother and asked " hey dean what is this whole training issue about ? " dean didn't actually want to talk about it but after Sammy pushed the matter he said in what it looked like barely a whisper " do you remember when you stayed at bobby for 3 months …" and his voice trailed at the end " yeah I remember dad said that you was with Caleb hunting and stuff and you were injured and they had to take to the hospital and I couldn't go there because ….. mmm because you were really hurt and em you know dad wouldn't let me because he was being dad you know ….. " said Sammy in a shaking voice remembering how was it like without his brother and how much he was worried about him all the time and begging his father to allow him to go and see his brother even for a few seconds he begged and begged and begged but nothing worked with his father who instead of trying to steady the12 years old pushed him away giving him more chores more works more training and reading old books , he Spend those 3 month isolated from the world he didn't talk much nor smile or do anything bobby tried everything to sheer him up but nothing worked he was just waiting the time to pass and see his brother again even and when his father came around which was like 3or 4 times he wasn't that excited to see him and john certainly knew that since the kid wouldn't say more than yes sir and no sir .

" well I was then your age I was 3 months away from turning 16 so me and dad went in a sort of a camping trip alone …. " and he paused remembering something looked from his face expressions horrible extremely horrible . "and it seemed that dad is going to do the same for you maybe he won't leave you in the woods like he did for me but hey you never know!" dean tried to light up the atmosphere by joking but his plan didn't actually work instead he saw all the color drain from Sammy's face "dean when you came home it wasn't you at all I felt at first that you were replaced or possessed or something?! You wouldn't even hug me when you came back and how worried I was ….. "he was so confused and couldn't get the words right but he continued "you were all kind of weird and strange you wouldn't let anyone come 5 feet close to you. you used to go al defense and military and ready to fight if someone even dared to look at your food you wouldn't sleep the first weeks and we had to drug you sometimes …. You changed a lot "sam started to remember those times when he had to give his brother a needle every night to sand him to sleep even if it was for a couple of hours a week when his brother begged him to stop injecting him with all the sedatives that turned his hands black and purple but Sammy couldn't and that hurtled him the most seeing dean's eyes directed at him full of hope and not being able to stop his suffering. Sam changed with his brother he took responsibilities that no child his age should carry he wanted to blame his father but he knew that it won't change or help anyone so he buried it deep down until the right time. He didn't dare to ask his brother about what happened those three months which is surprising considering how curious sam was but the worry he held made him want to forget the whole matter and put everything behind and then he understood why his brother liked to forget some stuff and not talk about it because it hurts deep down and open old cuts that no one can imagine those kids have endured but they are Winchesters in the end and that is how the Winchester's roll. with time sam learned how to deal with his brother and with a little patience everything went to normal sure dean fought better stronger more feercefulll like it was about life or death but that only made sam stronger with each cut and scare and brose a lot of them through the years .

" I don't remember a lot of this …" dean was definitely lying he remembered everything but he didn't want to look more pathetique so he continued with a shrug " anyway I hope you do your best and make us proud now we need to sleep before dad come and punish us both for staying late and not resting for your long day tomorrow " dean was trying to end the conversation but clearly sam wasn't thinking in the same line because he said " dad left you to survive on your own in the woods ! what kind of parents would ever do this to his kids " he was mad really made and he didn't care saying this to dean face who responded like he was really offended " you know dad does what he has to do in order to keep us alive and without his trainings we would be long dead and you know it " sam really knew that but it was unfair to live their lives like this and dean also knew that their dad was a Huelva drill ass Sargent and some of the choices he made weren't all right but in the end he was his dad's son older son and needs to keep his family in one peace . Sam was caught in his own mind until dean yelled in his face calling " hey , you need to survive this to stay strong to accept whatever dad ditches on you do what he orders and give your best because I won't accept less than that nor dad you understand me Sammy do you understand me " he was shaking his brother at the moment " yes dean I understand " dean knew what was going to happen at the end his brother would be broken and he will be left to collect the pieces when his dad will be somewhere else trying to forget the guilt squiring inside him for all that he has to put his sons threw for all the pain and suffering and hard upbringing but at least he will still have them alive, for terrible consequences of course but, alive that's what he keeps telling himself and that's what hardened his heart all this years for his son's pleadings and screams of pain in injuries in punishments even in trainings that's why he keeps pushing them over and over again until they can't move or speak anymore because they're too exhausted to put in the effort , dean remembers these times very clearly he remember when he first cleaned his father wounds he was maybe 5 then he cleaned his 7 years little brother cuts after a training with his father then he had to watch his brother take care of his cuts and stitching him when he wasn't older than 11 years he forced this memories to go away as he tried to get some sleep through the night .

Sam woke up in the morning around 4 o'clock feeling a hand shaking him up so he said in a mumbled voice " hey I am trying to sleep here leave me alone jerk" he didn't know he was talking to his father until it was too late " it is me Sammy your father !" and when Sammy heard the grumpy voice he instantly got up on his feats in a full posture rubbing his eyes slightly embarrassed " sorry sir didn't know it was you… em… should I pack some stuff or you know … ah "

"I think you forgot how to speak right young man, want me to teach you again "john Winchesters was a strict man who cared a lot about respect and especially his kids respect for him and he certainly didn't accept sam losing his words in front of him the kid knew better than this and should have learned from his mistake last time but he didn't want to push the matter more so he gave him a hard look that send the boy mumbling again "what dad .. sir no... I I … am sorry " sam started to remember the last time this happened to him he got the chores all himself and he called his father sir for a whole month which wasn't that hard because he usually calls him that but the worst thing was that he got extra trainings for discipline and self-controlling which hurtled like a bitch he just hoped that his dad will forgive him this time but the Winchesters old man doesn't forgive that easily " okay young man I warned you and your brother not to use this language in my presence but it seemed like you too won't get it so give me 100 pushups to wake you up in the morning and count them out loud " his dad usually used young man when he was about to punish one his boys when they were young and that kind of amused same a bit who with no hesitation dropped his " sir ,yes sir" to impress his father and then laid on the floor and started that 100 pushups in 4 am in the morning while his dad went downstairs to put himself a cup of coffee and sam continued ALL the 100 out loud which woke his brother dean yelling " hey stop yelling I am trying to sleep here … hey what are you doing" and when sam started to speak dean cut him off" you know whatever I am heading to the shower" sam is used on doing his punishments alone dad didn't even need to watch them because none of the boys dared to break his word even in his absence he taught them very well . 3 things john made sure his kids never ever do: disobeying, disrespect, and lying they got punished severely for each and every one of those things and john Winchesters is a man of action and not just words he was a marine and a hunter and you can imagine how his punishments would be and how he raised his sons alone being the head of the family and on top of the chain of commands.

When sam finished he packed his clothes in a small backpack and when he was about to finish he brother got off the bathroom all dressed up and looked at him in his shiny bright green eyes sam hold his breath waiting for his brother to speak and when dean didn't say anything sam went to him hugged him and said his good byes but surprisingly he felt something being placed in his hands it was a pocket knife " listen keep this with you, you are going to need it and keep it in your pocket and change your clothes come on harry up before dad comes !" sam was surprised but he did what he was told and he put on deans jacket that he gave it to him with a long sleeve sweater better than the summary one and he was ready he hugged his brother a second time with tears in his eyes ,dean did one last thing " hey take this it will keep you safe " he took his necklace from his neck and put it in his brother's " thank you dean " he got another hug from his brother and a nice comment too " now go on you better keep these chick flick moments to your girlfriend" sam laughed at that one because he knew that dean meant get down before dad kills both of us so he dragged himself downstairs he saw his father waiting him after that they got in the car and went in the daylight to nowhere he knew he starred at the window of the impala thinking about the journey ahead , ,, about his brother words about not giving up and fighting till the end he didn't want to let his brother down and for once he wanted to make his father proud .

The drive went for hours and finally sam went to sleep and the next time he woke up in his father was shaking him telling him that they arrived sam got out of his dad's truck and h saw a small wooden house he got confused for a moment seeing all the snow and the house but his father's pushing hands forced to clear his mind from all doubts and head to the door he never knew what his father had planned for him but he certainly knew that it wasn't going to be easy as he desperately wanted to be . they arranged everything in his suitable place and sam and his father sat by the fireplace contempling the fire and remembering the old one that lead to all this events that cursed fire that destroyed their family forever that fire that deprived dean and sam from their mother their normal life and their dad who once was the most gentle father any kid could possibly dream about and not the ex-marine and hunter who wanted his kids to survive everything even if they hated it and refused all of it from the training to the locking and hard supervision to the strict roles and orders . they sat in silence for a couple of minutes until john finally said " we're going to start tomorrow so you better catch up some sleep cause we're starting early ….." and then he continued after a breath "for the next two months " sam knew that these months are going to be the longest in his life he didn't want to sleep since he slept in the car but he is not arguing with his dad it is not worth it after all so he took a breath of his own and gave his " yes sir right away " with not even looking away from the fire or raising his head and it didn't surprise him the feel of his father hands lifting his face so that their eyes are connected ,john starred at Sammy really long and although sam tried to do the same he couldn't keep it up for too long so he pushed his dad's hand away from his face and went to his bed as quickly as possible he didn't want to face his dad just yet and he was already missing dean's presence john knew that knew the strong connection between his boys and that's why he was planning to disguard Sam's behavior for the time being .

Sam tried to sleep really tried but there was no point he just kept thinking and thinking and thinking about everything about dean about what his dad had planned for him about his future and his abilities to make his dad and brother proud he wanted to be strong to never brake but now he is not that sure about it he is starting to doubt his strength but no way he is going to survive cause if dad hated his sons week he hated them giving up more and he wasn't going to do that he is going to fight till the end to fight and fight and keep fighting he kept saying it until he fall asleep.

Sam woke up at the smell of fresh coffee that his dad knew very well how to prepare them he went straight to the kitchen hoping to get a smug and a big one actually but it seemed that his plans weren't going well "hey dad what are you doing "said sam in a lazy voice not even caring to put the words together his father raised his head from the cup he was staring at and looked at Sammy who instantly changed his posture to the full ready to fight soldier that he knew his dad wanted but he was stunned to see his father smiling and handing him a cup of his own which drew a wide smile on his face that he didn't really know he can give to anyone except for dean yet his dad wasn't the kind of person who could give a thing without a fight so he didn't move an inch from where he was standing and he said " okay dad what do you want me to do for this you don't suddenly start giving away your drugs for nothing! "he mastered his point with all the sarcastic he could pull of and ohh boy he was 100 percent right since his father finally spoke "500 in 5 " sam was really confused then he didn't understand his father and he didn't want to look dumb in front of the man but that cup of coffee deserved everything so he asked "what do you mean ?" john let out a small laugh this is the few times that sam doesn't guess what he is talking about "500 pushups in 5 minutes you think you can do it for a cup of fresh smelling coffee " sam wanted to slap himself how the heck didn't he guess that one it was pretty oviece instead he focused on that cup and he accepted the offer throwing himself on the ground landing on his hands and starting to work on his pushups counting them loud so that his dad can hear him clearly in the other hand john set the time and waited sam barely reached the 100 when the time finished he was all sweaty since he tried to do them really fast but clearly it wasn't enough so he got up on his feats awhile after his father said that the time is over to see the old guy drinking what it was supposed to be his coffee he didn't know what to say until his father saved him from the embarrassment "the offer is still on until the end of this month" and with that he went outside telling Sammy to change into his sweaters and sneakers and to follow him .sam did as he was told without even thinking about breakfast , he saw his dad leaning on the truck waiting for him so he headed towards him already knowing what he was going to do since it was a morning routine for him and his brother and they got used to do it occasionally with his father wish was like a nightmare since they were able to run .

Nothing was said and the only hearable thing was the sound of their footsteps looming in the early hours of the morning creating a beautiful relaxing rhythm that used to always steady their nerves and bring them the peace of mind they desperately needed in their lives. Sam and john ran together side by side the father and his son and what a beautiful scene it was well before sam reached his limits and couldn't walk any more. they started slow to warm up then john started to get faster and faster and sam kept up with him in spite the 16 years old boy he was he never slowed down to take a breath or never asked for a break he just kept pushing and pushing until all his force and energy was consumed he stopped dead In his place hands on his knees and trying hard to calm himself in a second his dad was right by his side they were running for 3 hours straight and in a speed routine that sam and dean rarely tried it unless their dad was watching or to finish sooner , nevertheless john gave sam some time and a bottle of water and they sat on the side walk in an awkward silence until john finally braked it saying "you need to step it up Sammy" he stopped for a while letting the talk sink than he continued" imagine a ware wolf on your tale , what were you going to do ? you can't get tired just after 3 hours "john didn't really want to say it he knew the kid did pretty good for his age and the speed they were running in but it wasn't enough not if he was going to revenge his wife's death or to keep the kids alive and strong and he knew sam would respond to this and indeed sam responded with the only answer he was taught long ago to say in front of his father ever since he learned how to speak so he threw his " yes , sir " and that conversation was long history as they run for another 2 hours before john called It a quit .

As the signs passed on and on and ooonnnnn sam wondered when his dad was stopping for lunch he was pretty hungry after that run and he didn't even had breakfast he was about to ask his father when they had stopped in nowhere "we'll be hunting for food from now on "he said in a normal voice that sounded gruff and there was no need to explain more. And finally after another two hours of hiking they found their feast a nice gazelle now they only thing left was for them to hunt it and that wasn't that hard since they hunt usually monsters so they used one of their simple plans where john shoots and sam goes around to have another chance if his father failed wish is practically impossible and at the end they had the gazelle was dead but they still had to clean it and prepare it to be cooked but that was easier said than done sam never saw an animal with his guts being ripped off he was about to throw off to went all yellow and pale then red and haut then all green while he watched his father prepare what was going to be their dinner for the next week or so and then happened the expected his dad wanted him to finish the job sam and in spite his agony obeyed his father without a single word he started to empty the animal's stomach trying really hard to be fast and not to vomit and finally he was over his hands were full of blood and shit and he was sweaty as ever he couldn't hold it anymore so he went past his father next to a tree and he emptied what he thought was never there in the first place he wasn't even breathing and he couldn't stop even though he wanted so desperately he was feeling his father's eyes on him he tried to ignore that feeling that pushing him to peek over ad see his father as if asking for permission to show his weakness just for once but he wasn't going to do he didn't want to see the disapproval in his dad's eyes and you wouldn't know if it was more pethetique or terrifying for a 16 years old boy to ask permission from his dad to know if it is okay to show his pain and suddenly sam felt gentle hands on his shoulders squeezing them in an act of support rather than threat but it didn't stop him from flinching under the contact he isn't used at showing sentiments and stuff with his father but he appreciated the act at the moment .

they were at home by 6 and it took them 2 more hours to set everything right and to start eating sam felt like it was heaven hot meal and warm fire and a nice old book to read until his father came out from the shower all dressed and he went outside for a moment before coming in again holding a long thin switch in his hands Sam's eyes darted between the switch and his father he was so confused he didn't know if he was going to be punished or no or if his dad was frightening him to push further he kept guessing while his dad was calling him " sam come here , sam !" still sam wasn't hearing his father maybe it was fear or distraction he didn't know but he knows an order when he hears it " front and center boy !" sam didn't even hesitate he went directly to his father standing in front of him ready for whatever his dad was ditching on him even if it meant whipping him with a switch h-e looked straight in his father's eyes dumping his "yes sir" and then looking down finding more interest in the pattern of the map on the floor, he was done memorizing every inch of the ground until his father finally spoke saying " well , we're doing another kind of pushups I want you to them like usual but with fists and you have to pull your body at every pushup while this switch pass under you ,got it "

sam was a bit taking back he didn't expect this he was a bit ashamed of thinking about his dad that way he knew his dad would never do something like that if it wasn't for discipline or for raising them right which had a hole other meaning for john Winchester but still so he did as was told thought he couldn't keep it up and every time he failed the switch hit him on his hands multiple time like it was slicing him he would fall twisting from pain but then as he went down in an instant he rose immediately and started again ,he was hit about 50 times give or take a few but he never gave up even when his hands were all bloody and filled with scares and broses that definitely are going to take time to heal there was small cuts not so deep since his dad didn't go too harsh on him the first time but that wouldn't stop him from increasing the volume behind his swats in the following days , sam was literary suffering at the end he was again on his abdomen after 3 hard slashes in the same exact place he let out a small scream of pain that he hopped his father won't be able to hear but he was mistaken cause his father did hear him " come on , again" sam got up and started again as he was told , the flesh on his fists was all red and about to go off because of the constant contact with the hard floor and he was all sweaty his bangs were soaked and he pressed more on his lips every time he was about to cry or let a scream go past him to his father , john Winchester looked at his son trying and trying he knew he had special sons that any dad would dream of but then he noticed his son features, they were drawn of pain and suffering ,hurt and fatigue he didn't want to keep thinking of them because they'll make him want to stop he has to be hard on him like he was with his brother and that what gave him the will to continue with sam when his son completed 500 pushups he said " you can stop we're done for today"

" Sammy was so focused on doing his best that he didn't hear his father who had a big shock featured on his face still he repeated himself more sternly " boy I told you to stop " sam finally registered what his father was saying so he stooped immediately and got on his feats blood linking from his hand to the floor, creating a rhythm that echoed in his ears ,it was the only sound in the room and it felt like the time has stopped and everyone freezed he clenched his teeth clearing his throt and saying " I'll go clean this "he went to the kitchen grabbing a wet napkin and keeling in front of his father cleaning the mess he's done he didn't know if he was mad at himself for not doing better and getting smacked every minute which caused all the blood on the floor or if he was mad at his father for putting him through this .

when he finished he cleaned the napkin washed his hands and when he was drying them he said without even looking at his father "I am going to sleep "but john wasn't a men to disguard his son's behavior so he stood on his feats yelling " come here " sam placed the towel on the side of the sink sighing then he went and stood in front of his father eyes fixed on somewhere between his father torso and his beard " look at me boy " when john used to say something sam would do the opposite until he kind of stopped that after what happened with dean but now he decided to start again so instead of looking straight in the man's eyes he moved his head to the right and he heard his dad's breathing pattern getting hard like he was trying so hard keep his temper in check and somehow he managed to say from clenching jaws " is this a statement or a question" sam didn't reply and his eyes were still fixed on the wall beside him john waited for a couple of seconds and sam felt his father's eyes burning holes in his head so he finally broke saying "may I go to sleep ,sir "he really hated his father military background at the moment " no you are not you are sitting you ass back here to clean the weapons, maybe that'll teach you how to speak properly" he stopped as if taking a break but sam knew that the old man is thinking and trying to make his mind about something and he was right since his father continued " and if this ever happens again , you will be punished ,you hear me" sam was a bit afraid since his father was thinking about this for a while before declaring it but he didn't want to think about the issue any further he wanted to finish and go to sleep as soon as possible so he dumped his" yes sir" in the most respectful tone he could master at the moment .

so he went to the bag of weapons and brought everything he needed and started the work it took him like 2 hours to finish less than usual but he didn't really mind luck was finally give him a slack then he went to the bathroom to clean his cuts and take a long long shower he brought the first kid ate and he put some medicine on his knuckles and hands and that was it he didn't need any stitches and he had a feeling that they will do this routine every day so he had to keep some for critical injuries and not a simple slashing he sat on his bed and although he couldn't sleep most of the night he was grateful that his dad didn't come down on him too hard the first time .yeah Sammy was mad at the man but he knew that this is the first step of the road and more is yet to come and he needs to be more patent with the pain and to suck it up just like his brother did and just like his father wanted him to do so he made a promise to himself that he is going to get out of this alive .

he woke up the next day feeling enormous pain in every muscle and bone of his body it was 3 am and his father wanted him to run and so he did but it took him the hole morning to finish the distance his dad has set for him he was in constant pain every movement he made was like one of his dad's swat multiplied like 10 times he was back home at 12 and the rest of the day he spend it shooting at targets that his dad had planted for him they were distant specific not to wide and there was a timing his dad wanted to know the level of his skills he shot most of them not all in the right place but around it at least and not so far , then they started fighting with knives he got several cuts none of them was too severe since his dad backed down at the right moment but still he had a cut on his face several on his hands and a few on his legs that's when his dad wanted to stop for the day it was getting cold and they had to prepare some wood for the evening .so they returned to the house where john taught Sammy how to cut the woods and it was sammy's job from now on .sam was done by 3.30 so went to the house hoping to get some worm he found his father waiting for him so he set the fireplace and waited .

john finally spoke "there is two bottles of water in the kitchen I want you to fill them and bring them to me " sam's curiosity kicked in right away " but for what dad ?" he questioned , john gave him a hard look that was enough to send Sammy running to the kitchen , there was still some innocent in his son he didn't know if he wanted it to go away or to stay there was that sparkle in his son's eyes that would tell him that the world is okay and that some good is still there that we can trust people and afford unnecessary questions , but now wasn't the time for this thinking he need to prepare the kid to let him know that evil is lerking in the dark cause all it take is one mistake one and you're out and john couldn't stand the idea he already lost his wife he wasn't going to lose his kids too whatever it takes to make them stronger faster more flexible.

John was so lost in his mind that he didn't a knowledge Sam's return the kid was practically standing in front of him waiting for commands and commands he got " you're going to hold these buckets in front you holding your hands until I tell you to stop " he paused for a little then adding " you don't want me to tell you what happens if I saw this hands getting below you high waste line " he lowered his gaze to make his point and when he didn't hear a response from the young boy he said " you understand me boy " now that got him a response "yes sir" and a firm one. Sam stood in front of his father doing whatever he was sopposed to do e didn't understand why his father was doing all of this but he wasn't one to argue the old man's methods he knew his dad had his reasons it wasn't like he was torchering him for pleasure or was he ? he shook the idea of his head and focused on the water not to get spilled after half an hour his hands were shaking and here was already some drips of water on the floor his dad actually gad to tell him to get his shit together or he is going to face some consequences terrible ones that threat helped for another half hour but his muscles were sorrow and he couldn't hold it anymore he was about to drip them when he heard his father "don't you dare to drop those !" sam didn't even know how his dad managed to know what was going in his mind was he some kind of a psyck no way he was reading his newspaper all the time "I can't hold them anymore" john's features all dark and sad which sam never saw unless it was about their mom and in an loud voice john said"your brother had to drag me all the forest long after I was injured " he wasn't really blaming Sammy or compairing both of them he was kinda off thinking outloud he was ashamed of that night because he is the one who's supposed to protect them not the opposite it was like sharing a story and sam understood that and it what kept him holding those buckets for another 2 hours not saying a word and just listening to his father talking about monsters and quizzing him with questions . when the time was finally over sam, was releaved to put the wait off his hands but he knew that he isn't done yet for the evening "now start the pushups and tets see what emrouvements you've made " sam swallowed the glump in his throt and moved closely to his father falling to the ground in easy mouvements landing on his hands and thankfull not on his knuckles which still hurted him like a bitch sam was finding it more easy to lift his body but that didn't stop the slaches that hit him with more force than before from a while to another he was again left with many broozes and cuts to count. But his dad wasn't finish from him just yet he was tired and sore and just wished to go to sleep but his father isn't hearing any of this "this is a couple of pages that I need you to translate for me before you head to sleep" sam didn't mind to do the research stuff so he said" of course dad as you wish" he didn't think it would take him long he was an expert in Latin he could easily teach the whole language and more but when he started to read he knew that it was a whole other type of Latin s after 3 hours he went to his dad wanting to yell then thinking of better "dad you didn't tell me this a ancient Latin there is no books written in it except for some at bobby's place it is impossible to do them without ….." he was cut off middle of the sentence "don't you think I know that boy ?"

"Yes sir but," john couldn't believe his son was talking back at him" since when you talk back on me?"

"Sorry sir I didn't mean to all I am saying is that it is going to take time "

"I know Sammy that's why I gave you the whole papers I don't need them ready in one day but make sure to work on them every day I need them finished by the end of the month, got it"

Sam was feeling dumb at the moment but he nodded his head clearly forgetting who his dad is" sorry kid can't hear you nodding your head "

"yes, sir" he was way tried to argue that at the moment so he asked permission to go to sleep after he showed his father the progress he made until now .then he went to bed around 10 which is kind of earlier than the night before but he knows his dad is going to wake him up earlier that man never forget anything.

The next day he woke up in he was sorrier than the day before but that didn't keep him from doing his run "hey Sammy "called his father from the shadows he didn't even see him sitting there however he replied "yes father " this was actually the first time for while that he called something close to dad even if the word was said in ironic way which didn't go unnoticed "I want you to do the distance In half of the time " he said it in the same ironic tone which got him a sideway look from his son "I'll try" he said it in a lower voice close to a whisper he didn't know if he actually wanted the man to hear him or not but nothing go past john's ears " you mean you willll do it " he insisted on the word will so typical yet sam replied with his only answer "yes sirrrrrr " he wasn't one to let his father win the last rounds when he could then he walked across the door to do his daily routine he run and run and run until he couldn't breath anymore he laid down on a bench next the road put his hands on his face to swipe all the sweat and then put his elbows on his knees trying to ease their pain but failing deeply so he got up again inspite of everything wanting to finish in time until he heard a sound coming from behind so he prepared himself to the fight and turned around to punsh the guy who was trying to come close to him he was about to continue when the man spoke" hey take it easy " sam stopped dead in his steps and then went automatically to help the guy stand on his feats apologizing "sorry man didn't mean to" the man looked at him and he didn't seem like a threat he was older than him by two years maybe so he relaxed his nerves and laid down his shields" I am really sorry again I have to go now by " sam really needed to hurry he was already late , and when the man was trying to call him to give him his necklace back sam was already way to far ,he was puzzled by the kid's behavior what was he doing in the first place at 4 o clock in the morning , he thaught first that the kid was homeless when he glaced at him from the kitchen widow and when he was going to help him he got attacked and that was driving him crazy but he chose to ignore the issue for the time being focusing more on delivering the newspaper throught all the neighborhood.

When he returned he was 10 minutes late he was on his last breath when he arrived , and listening to his father yelling gave him some time to control the ups and down of his shest getting some air was impossible at the moment and he was close to passing out he ignored his father went straight to the kitchen poured himself a cup of water then sat on a chair trying to get some rest even if it was momentary he closed his eyes for a second then he felt his dad's presence in the room so he opened them again stood on his feats and said " I accept any punishement you give me ,sir" he stopped swallowed and then continued " for these actions and for the ones before " his dad was stunned at first for seeing his boy take responsibility for his actions but he is not planning on letting him get away easily " don't worry you'll get your punishement , but I want to know what delaid you cause I am damn sure you didn't stop midway thinking about resting for a couple of minutes " sam was surprised how the hell his dad knew was he watching him no ! he wouldn't anyway his dad has a special way of reading them so he thaught about coming clear "how did you know ? well I kind of stopped to catch my breath so I sat on a borch and then " his dad cut him there he was too angry to listen to the rest of the talk " what ! I don't know if it is the fact that you stopped for ten minutes when you know you are not allowed or the fact that you thaught that sitting on a borch was a better idea " sam tried to defend himself " no it is not like that " it was ment to come out as a valid argument instead it was more like a small yell " what the hell is wrong with you , you know you're oupt for a big punishement "sam knew that so he replied "yes sir I take full blame " it didn't occure to him that the incident with that guy was the reason for what was going to happen to him but it wasn't that person's fault it was him he should have been more carefull now he have to endure whatever his dad was planning for him .

John waited sam to finish the breakcfest until he spoke" follow me outside " sam went after his father then he stood right beside him in the freezing weather it looked like it was going to snow dark clouds were forming in the sky and the wind was blowing the nacked trees which were dancing like it was the party of the year however they weren't there to enjoy the beautiful nature " take off your clothes" sam turned at his father trying to make sense of what the men had just told him he was met with cold eyes that indicated no backing down , sam stripped off then he stood in front of his father only in jeans no shoes or anything else " hold that above your head " he pointed to a center of a tree not too long neither too short but enough for his son to bare lifting it sam walked in the mud feeling the cold yet not allowing it to slow him down then returning to his father who was sitting under a tree watching him closely , he did as he was told he lifted the weight above his hand all in one steady movement that impressed even john .he was a strong kid for his age too strong than any kid needs to be, he had a muscular body thaught it wasn't clear a lot under the layers of clothes the kid keeps wearing with an impressive height he was definetly going to become taller than dean and maybe john himself , he could easily put several mans down in a matter of minutes even trained tough guys. After 30 minutes he was really tired his hands were shaking just like before with the buckets and he knew that back then his father was getting easy with him too easy but he refused to give up to the pain and he kept his position for another 30 minutes , time was passing and his father hadn't told him to stop yet he was twisting a lot now it wasn't just his hands his legs too started to crack under the preassure until his dad yelled "quit dancing around if you know what's best for you" sam yelled back " yes sir" another 30 minutes passed it started to rain and that placed extra weight on him , he was about to let go of the peace of wood until he heard that familiar e sound " don't you dare put it down " he wanted to yell at that exact moment cursing the world why his father had to be that hard that strict that obsessive but he didn't have the energy god knows how much his dad is going to let him stay in the terrible weather so he gathered what was left of his energy to steady the weight again over his shoulders . john was watching and a brief moment of sorrow and sadness came across his face watching his boy trying to hold it together as hard as he can they were there for an hour and a half by now and finally sam crashed down throwing the thing on the ground and falling to his knees and the first thong he did was to look at his father wanting to apologize to sam sorry I couldn't do it anymore. Of course john didn't excpect the boy to hold it forever he was waiting for him to give all he can and he did good and when john was sure of that he gave the boy a simple nod with the head and went inside sam followed briefely after picking up his shirt, that guy from the supermarket saw the last scene hiding behind the house and he had a lot of question marks that he forget why he was there in the first place so he went back home trying to think of a reasonable explanantion finding none .

Sam took a shower although he couldn't move his hands he just stood under the hot water letting it wash all his dirt and tiredness, then he had to go with his father to bring some stuff they needed from the supermarket ,when they arrived sam was surprised to see the man he attacked the morning working there he was embarrassed and had to apologize again " hey man I am sorry again for what happened I didn't mean to throw you to the ground "

"don't worry we didn't interduce properly , I am ben, ben *** and you're ?"

" I am sam Winchester "

"nice to meet you I never saw you in the neighborhood before "

"yeah well we moved new we're living in that house close to the woods "

"you mean on the biller's old house "

"yeah I think so "they kept talking for a while getting to know each other when john came listening to ben telling his other friend how his son knocked him to the ground all in one movement they all kept talking for a couple of minutes and john was able to hear everything he was ashamed and prowed at the same time but what's done is done and he can't change anything but he can make it up to the kid later. They went back home , where sam prepared them their dinner for the day and they sat eating in silence then couldn't force the kid to do the pushups his hands must be hurting him badely since he didn't move them the whole time even that guy noticed him and the way he awed when he punshed his elbow in a friendly way, sam covered it up by making it sound that he was playing on him but it didn't fool john .So he decided to spend the night doing some sit ups it was about 7 when they started and this time john trained with his son which was harder since sam has to keep up with his father who slowed down for his sake sometimes when he yelled on him to hurry up in others , they reached 50 when sam started to get behind and he couldn't lift his body any further he just laid down he heard his father voice speaking to him " you're not to stop until I tell you so" john stopped for a while waiting for a reply when he didn't hear one he added with more force" you hear me boy!?"sam replied after taking a long breath " ok " though it didn't satisfy his father " try again" sam didn't mistake that tone so he replied " yes sir I wont stop until you tell me" he gathered his power and tried to do the damn sit ups as his father told him but sam felt like it ages before they were done they did like 200 then they was time for dinner so sam prepared something for both of them while his father was doing some research or something they sat in silence as usual dean used to light up the table a bit but now it was all weird and strange his father wasn't much for a talker and sam didn't have anything to say .

now it was 9 so john took his son in the truck and drove to the woods they walked for hours and when they stopped " I am going to put this on your eyes your job is to find the way back to the house you have until 4 o clock that means 6 hours now I am gonna spin you around " sam didn't even have time to register his father words when john was putting something on his eyes to block his vue suddenly everything went black and he was being turn around and then when his father stopped he fell to the ground feeling dizzy looking around not seeing anything but sensing someone's steps getting away from him he then realized it was his father, he was in shock for a while not knowing what to do not believing that his father was doing this to him but then he knew that no matter what he was on his own now and he need to watch himself , there was bears in this woods dangers animals and a lot of ways to die and he has to hold it together if he wants to stay alive to fight for another day he stood on his feats and started to walk putting his hands in front of him but inspite his affords he tripped on a stone and went down a cliff getting cuts on his face in his hands and leg his head bumped to a tree but there wasn't any blood coming from it , he laid down for a moment trying to catch his breath and check his injuries he stood up again paying more attention to his steps and he walked in the dim light of the moon he tried to find any signes of his father footsteps but found any that man was smart and a real hunter he didn't left any traces behind him so sam has to find his way on his own he tried to hear any sounds for cars or highway but it didn't work to he has to climb some tree and find out but first he need to get that thing off his eyes he remembered the knife dean gave to him and he send a secret thank to his brother after he freed his eyes he climbed that tree and noticed a distant highway that might take him some hours to catch but can send him back home . he started hiking marking points to know his way hiking for two hours straight and then resting for 5 seconds he was half the way there when he heard a noise coming from behind he prepared his weapon as well as some wood sticks, he found a medium bare coming to attack him with his claws 10 cm long and sharp teeth that can cut his arm a second he tried to strike the animal but he couldn't do him more than a small cut he then tried again and again succeeding once and failing the other he got some scratches from the bare himself but he was out of energy at the end the bare was about to strike again while sam was preparing himself to the attack he thaught that he was going to die but he was a Winchester and Winchesters don't die easily and from monsters at least not some bare in the woods so he lunched himself holing nothing but a simple knife he struck the animals throt and felt his blood dropping on him while the bare fall crashing on the ground in a magnified sound sam saw everything happen in small motion one second he was the victim and the other he became the killer he saw his father kill a lot of things over the years but he's never taken one on himself before . he fell to the ground too holiding the bloody knife in his hand looking at the dead creature in front of him and it made him feel sick that he had to kill in order to stay alive he suddenly felt a wave of andrenalin in his blood he wasn't able to breath normally his hands were shaking his brain was racing down his heart was about to get out of his chest he tried to do the breathing his dad taught him to do in extreme conditions he placed his head between his knees and tried to calm his nerves it took him 10 minutes to be able to see straight he knew he was late and he has to get out of there as soon as possible so he run and run in his top speed and he was actually gratefull for all the runnings his dad made him to do no matter how tired he was or exhausted because thinking about it now and in these situations it mint difference between hunt and being hunted sam understood that now understood why his father pushed him over and over again why he never accepted execuses and beggings why he punished them so hard every time they slacked on their trainings ,it was to keep them alive to make them strong enough to run and fight through injuries pain exhausting even desperation .

he arrived to the high way in half of the time he couldn't figure out if it was because of the adrinalin or if he just wanted to get the hell away from that scene and from that forest once he was on the road he tried to read the signes to know where he is and which way to go once he knew his destination and coordination he made up his mind and started to run again with no stop the sun was rising again and a soft touch of the light kisses landed on Sammy's face he felt some hope after all there will always be light after darkness , he finally arrived to the town and he was socked in sweat he had blood on his clothes on his face he looked like a total mess and he couldn't risk anyone seeing him at the moment so he tried to hurry up more it was still pretty dark inspite of the sun rising he arrived at that bench that he used to sit on and he thought about resting for 5 minutes before continuing and so he did but he didn't know that the guy from the supermarket was watching him all suspicious and nosy but he didn't notice the blood but he was determined to find that boy's story somehow .


	2. Chapter 2

sam arrived exactly 6 o clock but he was looking terrible his clothes were ripped off there was blood all over him he had several cuts some of them need stitching his father was standing in the hallway waiting for him " you're on time " he said looking at his watch then continuing " change your clothes and clean your cuts then come down here" sam didn't know what to say his father wasn't even that worried about him he wanted to act like it didn't hurt him but it did so he went upstairs getting past his father who caught him in the hand squeezing it and then whispering in Sam's ears " I think you lost your manners kid " sam was angry real angry he wanted to yell in his father face but then thought better so he said from clenching teeth " yes sir I lost them back in the woods with the bare that tried to rip me apart " he was looking straight ahead but after finishing his words he looked straight in his father eyes who had left his hands now so sam left him thinking and then dragged himself on the stairs wanting nothing more than some sleep but he can't even have that even after all he is been through because he knows that his father is waiting for him , and he's to obey him no matter what so he took a deep breath trying to block all images and scenes playing in his mind and focusing more on stitching his hand . he got the aid kit from under the bed and sat in the bathroom he started to clean his cuts putting some antibiotics to prevent any infections , then he started stitching his hand he placed a wooden stick in his mouth since he didn't found any drug in that box and he wasn't going downstairs again at least not now , the needle was cutting through his skin , he felt like was about to pass out from the pain , but he still have to stitch his face .he placed a bandage around the cut and then he stood in front of the mirror to be able to see what he has to fix the cut was deep and blood was still coming from it his hands were shaking and he didn't know if he could hold the needle right but he gathered what was left of his courage and started the work , he placed two stitches when he couldn't do more his face was a mess all red and sweaty and he started to yell though nothing as heard because of that wood stuck in his mouth he knew it wouldn't help him but he had to take it out, his cut still needed 4 more stitches so he held his breath and tried to end this suffering as fast as possible.

After he patched himself, he wasn't able to keep his balance anymore and what was left of his power was all gone he couldn't see straight and exhaustion was taking over him he was stumbling to his feats until he found his bed and lied down still on his face incapable of moving a single muscle .john was down by the kitchen he was stunned at his son's response but they still have a lot of work to do so he went to his son's room and when he saw the kid lying there on the bed defenseless he felt something cutting him from the inside he was the one causing all this to his children but he have to prepare them and this is the only way he knows so he left the kid sleep for some hours before waking him up .sam changed his clothes and went to do his running although he was starting late he kept going no stop even when he reached that bench he used to sit on him he continued not caring to rest he kept running and running like his life depended on it because it did escpecially after that nighthe now has a motivation and a strong one too you cant imagine a kid doing this for his life even kids who participate in the Olympics do it for meddels not for keeping their breaths in his third round he found ben sitting on the bench so he came close to him and said " hi … what are you doing here "

"well you do you runs every day and I deliver the newspapers simple huh" it was as simple as that

"yeah , well you're apparently quicker than me "

"No kidding especially with my bike" the guy joked and sam was already liking the man but he was delaying him and his dad won't be thrilled for him disobeying orders

"Nice chatting with you but I have to go now "sam was ready to go now but when he saw ben standing he stopped

"wait I am coming with you , I kind of liked the idea "sam was confused what was the guy talking about "what idea !" the guy looked at sam disbelieving but when he was met with Sam's questioning glare he explained " doing runs in the morning !?" sam was feeling real dumb right now " ah " they stood for a moment until ben shoved sam telling him" come on you said you have to go " sam laughed at that and they started to run . He was going easy on him at first sure it mint extra time but he was happy to have some company he couldn't believe that someone would like to do running in the morning if they weren't forced to they started to talk about everything school , work , girls and family …..

" so tell me about your family "sam was a bit taken by the question but he replied " I have a brother named dean he is 4 years older than me but he isn't with us now "

"and with us you mean….."ben looked at sam with wide eyes to make his point "my dad and I, mom died when I was 6 month old" ben wished that he didn't ask the question "I am sorry man" sam was angry more than sad because that demon deprived him from his mom's love and compassion from the life he deserved , a life where he didn't need to know everything about monsters that want to kill him , and the irony is that more you learn about them the more you get scared and need to prepare either with training or learning how to fight and kill them and that takes a lot from a person sam knows this very clear .to clear the atmosphere ben talked again "you know I forgot to give you this " he handed him the necklace , sam's hands went first to his neck where he discovered that he lost his necklace , he was ashamed not to find out early but he took the necklace and placed it in his neck again " ah thank you , well were done now you did good " sam was lying he himself still have a lot of miles to run he was going quarter his normal speed but he found the man too exhausting that he might suffer from dehydration if they continued " wow man you run a lot are you preparing for a marathon or something " sam laughed at the one but he replied " no but my dad was a marine and he likes us prepared and strong If someone attacked us or you know .."sam trailed off it was the best thong he could come up with to explain their situation , the man doubted Sam's explanation but It was reasonable enough for his curiosity still it didn't explain why was in the rain holding the heavy wood .amazing how much john trained them so hard so cruel no mercy sam was remembering when he was only 4 years old at school alone at the end of the worrying about the night ahead about the training if he is going to see his father or no if he really want to see him he was so confused for him dad meant hard training when dean meant hard training with breaks and understanding . they said good bye to each other and everyone went in his own way .

It 3 when sam arrived he went straight to the kitchen searching for something to eat since he didn't put anything in his mouth for a whole day but he didn't find anything , than he remembered that he is going to hunt is food from now on so he brought his gun and crossbow in case with the knife dean gave to him and he went to the woods it took him two hours to find something and he had one chance and only one to shoot his gazale but he managed to kill the beast , that was the easy part now he has to clean it he got his knife and started to work just like his father taught him It was easier now and it wasn't discusting as it was before maybe it is the hunger or the desperation he didn't know and he wasn't excited about finding out , he was about to finish when he sensed a movement behind him he went straight to hunting mood by gribbing his knife taight and standing right away to kill the attacker who his face was unknown and hidden sam tried his best to defend himself but this man was stronger than him and he finally found himself lying on the ground with an knife to his throt , but surprisgnly the man revealed himself and it was his father who attacked him "dad , what is this ? you were about to kill me ! " sam was more angry than ever and it was clear in his tone however john replied sternely " you are supposed to be prepared at any moment and if it was someone else than me a monster let's say you'll be dead by now " sam was taken back with this statement but it was true although he didn't want to admit it lukily his father spared him of that " you'll be dragging this to the house on your own don't be late " said john with a military voice , sam thaught that this is the worst day of his life last time they hunted a meal his father truck hold it the whole time now he has to hold it the entire way which as like 5 miles away from their current staying he didn't complain though it was his fault and he is going to bare the consequences of it so he said " yes sir " in the most respectful way he tried the whole time he spend in this town which empressed even his father who seemed satisfaid at the least.

Sam spent 3 hours lifting the animal and dragging it the whole way to their house and he was extremely exhausted that he would accept to lay down in his place in the woods and sleep but that wasn't an option now he still had to cook his meal and eat it and his father wouldn't be pleased if he was late, when he finally arrived he didn't waste no time and he started to prepare diner until his father came . at 7 sam and john were both on the table eating in silence which was now ordinary , after they finished sam would do the dishes while his father was searching for a hunt then sam will start his training for 4 hours sometimes more and never less , in every way when he is done he will be left a hot mess to clean his wounds wipe his tears, blood and sweat cause john Winchester wasn't any marine man or any hunter and he didn't accept his kids to be less than him he would crash them down over and over again till they learn the lesson till they run faster , fight longer , and get stronger , he was hard on them since that fire and he will still be if it can save their lives and keep them to his side .this night john thaught of adding something to sam's training it is true that the kid by now look terrible with the new broozes on his hand and all over his body from hand to hand combat and from being thrown to the ground over and over again add to that his cuts and soring muscles which can be detected easily by the way the kid whimp every time he moves certain ones but he want to push him harder to discover his limites so he said "you still need to work on your endurance there will be a different exercise each night so I want to do the crunch standing for an hour starting from now " john wasn't a known man with his patience he would just order and he excpect his sons to follow blindely he didn't care how much sam was hurting or how much his body is sorrow for the constant work out day after day with no rest at all but nevertheless sam complied with a sigh and a " yes sir "then he started he didn't even want to argue cause that will get him in more trouble his father was standing right in front of him reading a newspaper I after half an hour he was about to crash down to the ground from tired and exhaustion but then he heard his father yelling " one more movement the timing 'll start again and it will be doubled with extra running in the morning" sam was mortified he can't stand another half an hour but it is either this or the time doubled his father knew how to make threats and he is not afraid to apply them , he hanged his head down with his brown bangs dandling on his eyes , and he prayed for the time to move faster just for this once but nothing was ever easy on a Winchester since this half hour seemed like eternity and when it was finally over sam crashed down to his feats unable to hold himself any longer not even for the minute that can get him to bed he was drained of all force or will he found his father lifting him to his feats and carrying him to the bed it was 1 o clock by now and the only thing sam was thinking of is how the hell I am going to wake up tomorrow for my run and he wasn't shy to ask his father who replied with a smile for the first time which confused Sammy but for now he is in the bed and he wants to sleep so he pushed everything away and tried to get some rest, that he wasn't going to have .john slide after 3hours holding a gun in his hands wanting to see if his son learned the lesson or no sam inspite of all his tired sensed something getting close to him it was a hunter instinct and this instinct can save his life –as it did for his father many times he chosed not to ignore it and he was waiting for the right moment to attack and indeed he did he was able to block his dad shot and get the gun out of his hand as well as pushing the man down to the ground placing a knife to his throat and john was so amazed of the progress sam has made and that he's learning from his mistakes .true that no loving father will do such thing going in the middle of the night attacking his 16 years old boy who is terribly hurt and tired and exhausted with a gun to see if he can defend himself and still be aware of his surroundings even in sleep is terrifying , john asked a lot from his kids and he wasn't disappointed he raised perfect soldiers and the things his kids has been through and the trainings they had to do from young age ,shows how strong they are and how much they can handle taugh situations.

The next following days sam kept doing his routine and he got more attached to that guy named ben who locked just like dean which gave sam some peace and some comfort when needed he could see that ben was curious beyond curious but he couldn't tell him anything about their lives .they were in half of the month and john wanted to take sam in hunts from now on but not until making sure that he was ready , it was time to take him to the woods . "sam I want you to prepare some stuff we're going on a camping trip" sam did as his father told him and he prepared everything but he didn't know that this was his final quiz and he need to pass it ."yes sir right away" it didn't take him much time to prepare everything they were used on packing stuff quickly since they were kids because of their constant moving and sometimes for ergent matters . now they were in the impala heading for a camping spot john drove right to the unknown area in the woods . he parked the car and then they had to continue the journey on feats they walked for 3 hours taking rest for 5 minutes only until john reached the place he had in mind they placed the tant and sam went to bring some wood to the fire then he went with his father to the river to try and catch some fish. They returned back with 3 big fishes , they ate and exercised then with hand to hand combats sam was getting better and better every time he still couldn't beat john but the kid was emprouving , they trained with knives crossbows even guns ,how to shoot an impossible target and how one shot can save his life and someone's close life "you know Sammy you can never irrestimad one the power of one bullet it can save your life or someone's else life , it might be your brother's , being held by a vampire unable to save himself or by a ware wolf that has already put his claws in his chest " john was whispering in sammy's ear while he was trying to shoot a very distant target in an impossible angle even a trained soldier cant pull right , sammy's hands were shaking imagining his brother in these situation and while his dad kept gessing sinarios to kill his brother sam closed his eyes he took a long deap breath and the moment he opened them he pressed the trigger letting it hit the straight core of the target john was then surprised even under prusser sam can think now and act and ne never missed not once .

they spent the evening training too john was fighting sam know in the dark in another meaning sam had his eyes blinked , it was the most terrible situation to be placed in he couldn't see anything and his father was attacking him knocking him to the floor every single time he couldn't think of something worse until he knew that now they're going to start fighting with knives he got several cuts some are deep some not too much but he could feel his dad's frustration reaching an incredible high he was about to take the blinding of his head when his dad blocked his hand slicing it with the knife worning"if it was dark and a monster attacked you you'll be dead by now long dead do you want that?" sam heard his father address him in an anger yet a worried tone and he had to answer" no sir " john added "no sir what young man" sam saw his father getting all in the drill ass Sargent mode and he wanted to test the boundaries "no sir I don't want to be killed by a monster because I cant sense and feel everything around me in the dark like a freacking ninja " john sent some dark locks in his son direction but sam wouldn't be able to see those because he is blinded so john said "Samuel you will not speak to me in this way ever " hearing his whole name made sam flinch add to that his father loud voice he knew he was in for trouble why didn't he listen to dean when he told him to accept whatever the old man dishes on him but that doesn't matter now since he was dragged from his collar and pushed to a tree but at least he can see now and he wished he couldn't amazing how the wishes changes in seconds because now he saw his father taking off his belt he definitely pissed him off his father has never used the belt on him before certainly the paddle or a switch but not his belt sam was panicking now mumbling apologies but in his father book that doesn't cut it enough

"dad , please I am sorry I didn't mean it " said sam standing in front of the tree not even daring to turn around and see his father but he when he finally turned john whiled the belt on his son' skin with force declaring" you're going to stop this now I didn't raise you to talk to me like this I don't care if you're hurt or scared or anything it doesn't give you the right to address me in this language and if all my punishments before didn't stuck yet I am going to make sure this one does understood" sam was uncecsseefely trying to inhale some air he had a one look to his father before the belt stroke and it hit him like an electricity shock he let out a cry of pain while his feats crashed to the ground his mind was still trying to deal with the pain while his father was talking , and he didn't know that his father was waiting for an answer , so john let out his hands again to deliver the message even harder than before it gave a wild sound threw the air sam was taken back again he pressed himself more to the tree screaming from pain it was like someone like someone is cutting him with knives john repeated himself "understood Samuel " sam didn't like any one calling him with his full name because it meant that he was in deep shit but he wasn't worried about that now he was so lost in his pain but he answered from clenching teeth and a shaky voice "yes sir… yes sir "tears were running down his cheeks but if his father was planning on teaching him a lesson he is going to get hurt a lot more than this and he was preparing himself " you are going to get 16 licks and you go out of position we start again" he didn't waste any time and he landed two repetitive licks to Sam's back and it appeared that the last one were just mere love taps sam held out his position real good he hugged the tree resting his face on the side keeping the cries for himself , although the tears kept going down he pressed more each time the belt made contact with his back after 10 licks sam couldn't hold it any longer and he started crying harder and harder yelling , screaming and pleading for his father to stop "daa..ad please stop I can't take it anymore" john wasn't having any of it now so he landed the belt with more force causing the kid to stop hugging the tree and start hugging himself seeking for some comfort , john was watching his son with sad eyes but he has a lesson to teach " boy you know stroke that you deserve this stroke I warned you a lot stroke but you never listen stroke do you ?" sam was a hot mess of tears and wild straps on his back with red eyes he had to take several breath to be able to talk after those consecutive welts " please sir I'll listen , I'll listen, just stop " and then the tears exploded again letting his muscles relax from exhaustion but john continued the rest of the punishment which caused him to stuff his body again and then he asked "did you learn your lesson or do we have to go through this again" sam hated this questions and he was still trying to get himself under control , doing some breathing exercises that's when the damn belt stroke again twice " oh god .."yelled sam giving away everything he was holding he rested his forehead to the tree letting the tears fall down freely on his face hugging himself again he never cried this much in his life, he was limply sobbing into his arms .

John let his son cry for a couple of minutes see how much he broke his son so he placed his belt in its place and then he went over to sam trying to relax the kid hearing him repeat the words"yes sir yes sir yes sir " and it echoed in john's ears a million times more he wanted to take his kid in his embrace but the moment he placed his hand on Sammy's shoulders the kid flinched got on his feats instantly and backed away shaking and fearing his father ,john closed his eyes for a moment his own son his Sammy was afraid of him hating him probabely but that wont stop him from raising the boy the way he see it fit so he said "it's getting late we need to prepare fire and dinner" sam knew that his father actually told him to go and bring some woods to set the fire so he replied " yes sir" he still hasn't put his shirt yet "are you planning on doing that shirtless "said john while picking up Sam's shirt and jacket from the floor and holding it in front of his son's reach , sam hesitated for a moment before reaching out, hand a bit shaking which he hated a lot and which broke john's heart his own kid was afraid of getting close to him , "no father , sir " he got the clothes and he put them on and the moment the shirt on a wave of pain hit again although he tried so hard to hide it was shown perfectly clear from his face expressions john didn't want to see his son suffer more because of him so he returned to the camp giving sam some privacy and time to heal himself and cover , he didn't wear the jacket because if the thin layer of fabric hurt him that much he couldn't imagine how much damage the jacket going to make.

Sam returned later and it was after sunset the dark was starting to cover the forest he sat in front of his father watching him set the fire and prepare the rest of the fish for their dinner, sam chose to take of his shirt and he placed a blanket around his back it seemed silly but it was more comfortable and his father didn't interject. Sam didn't really have the appetite to eat but he did in front of his father his face was a bit swollen and his eyes were still red he couldn't move a lot because any movements caused him to moan from pain , and the worst thing is that his father eyes were directed the whole time at him ,whenever his father moved he would flinch looking at the man with pleading eyes he knows that his father won't do it again he was the one pushing him in the first place but he can't help it .the only thing can help him now is sleeping" sir if there is nothing more to do can I go to sleep " it sounded like a soldier permission but sam wasn't taking any chances he lowered his gaze to the ground and waited for answer , john waited for a moment the father in him wanted to allow sam but the marine and more of a hunter part wanted him to tell the boy to do some exercise ,maybe translating some Latin pages before going to sleep he finally gave up and said "you can go but expect to be woke up earlier " sam couldn't believe that his father never lets anything go but he was grateful for the moment " yes sir " he threw the blanket of his back then he headed to the tent his back was all bruised up with remarquable signs of welts on it practically most the ones his dad dished on him there was cuts open ones that needs bandages but nothing needed stitches although it is going to last a long time and hurt a lot no lasting damage was made and the kid is still alive , sam hadn't seen his dad handiwork yet and he couldn't see it since he has no mirror but from the feelings his having it must be like a Picasso paint with red and blue .

Sam really wanted to sleep but he couldn't either from the pain or from the constant thinking of his brother dean his father wouldn't let him call or send a message he couldn't understand the man and why he was so hard on them in everything sam remembered once he was punished with strict curfew , and grounded for three months no getting out of the house after school no anything and he was only 9 and for a stupid mistake he was about to go crazy that time along with dean who had to suffer with him too, he pushed all his memories away and he focused on the pain he thought about putting some medicine but then thought better of that he wasn't allowed to put any medicine after his punishment because he has to feel the pain so he won't do the same mistakes twice at least that's how his father putted when he asked him once if he could get dean some to ease his pain dean was then less than 8 years old and he was punished severely for not laying down salt lines and protection symbols. Sam closed his eyes and tears were still running down his cheeks every time he thought about the unfairness of their lives every time he remembered his brother every time he wished that cursed fire never happened but this wishes won't ease his pain or help him forget what he's been through , john later came down and he saw his sun lying there defenselessly thousands of scenarios playing in his head but he was there to protect his son no matter what happens he then noticed the track of tears his son used to always cry asleep it seems that when he can't express himself in front of them he does it when he's sleep but he is not surprised though they don't play their feelings around every one of them keeps them to himself .


	3. Chapter 3

The next day sam woke up it the sun was rising sam was surprised that his dad has even let him sleep that much it was about 5 , sam was still feeling sore from yesterday's lashing belts on his skin he wanted to forget everything that happened but the constant pain from each mouvement wouldn't allow him that pleasure , he went outside his tent excpecting to see his father waiting for him but when he didn't found him he knew that something was off he didn't want to worry so he started his daily routine with extra force running more pushing more never cairing about pain hitting threw every muscle of his body even blood dripping from his hands every time he punshed the wood with his fists didn't stop him his didn't know that his father was watching defently that punishement yesterday was the needed push for sam to understand that life aint easy and escpecially for a Winchester now one last lesson sam need to learn and he is going to learn the hard way . sam trained the whole day even in night to try and keep his mind from thinking about his father who hadn't showed up all day long not even the day after and he was starting to worry he didn't know what to do but he was determined to know what happened for his father he started studying the area searching for any traces that can lead him to his father millions of scenarios were planning in his head was it a deamon a warewolf an angry spirit he didn't know but he was going to try .

He was looking in the area when a peace of clothe sgot his attention and it definetly belonged to his father he then found a slight trace of shoes footprints along with some other , he traked the trace on going no stop for a whole day and when it started to get dark he knew that he should stop so he carved some protection symbols and he practically hugged his gun while keeping a knife in hand he woke up the other day and he was about to continue when he no longer saw any trace and that freeked him out was someone watching him maybe It was the same that took his father maybe he was waiting him to slip or make a mistake he suddenely felt himself getting deazy unable to steady himself and he could hear mumble from behind him with the sound of boots , he wasnt ready to give up yet he was a Winchester after all and wichesters don't give up easily so he turned in one small movement to catch the guy and punch him squar in the face causing his nose to break in a loud crack but then he noticed that it wasn't just a guy they were 3 he put one down and there is two left one of them tried to attack him and so he did they blew some punches every one getting a fair chare but sam knew he can't continue this forever he need to put the guy down and he still has another one to worry about , sam thaught about distracting the guy with a few moves then going a headknock on him so he kiked the big guy with his leg and then he executed his plan bu it didn't work out the way he want it ad he didn't have any choise but running so he got his gun as quickly as possible and then he run for his life , he had to make a plan and do it fast those guys were planning on killing him and maybe they did the same thing to his father sam was freeking out in terror what was he going to do with out his father he needs to get to the other side of the woods that was it simple plan that can get him back to dean back to safe but that was a long trip ahead of him .

There was people following him and it wont do him any good to keep running he needs to set his mind straight but sam couldn't stop thinking about his father about those basterds did to him what was he going to tell dean or maybe he wont tell him maybe he'll just survive this and desepire or maybe he could get revenge but not in this state of his maybe after relaxing and knowing more about the attackers , either of ways he has to find a shelter a lose those son of bitches while hiding his trace . he found small hiding place in a tree with some branches and leaves it will keep him away from danger and he has to find water and food , he went in search for his surviving needs and he couldn't find anything but a squirt which he cleaned sliced and grilled he never thaught that he can something like this for an animal but it is either his life or the other way around and he wasn't going to get himself killed at least not before revenging his father the night passed on and sam couldn't sleep a minute greefing on his father all the time he still doesn't know if the guy is alive or not . after a day and a half with water sam was starting to pass out ne wasn't able to keep scanning the area or stay conscious at least he wished for a miracle to happen and suddenly rains start to fall down filling the earth sam bounced from happiness he got out of his place and he started to drink from his hands full of rainwater he didn't forget to save some with a small bottle he found the other day on the ground thinking it might be useful .

It was raining haveally and he no longer can stay in his shelter he has to find another place while walking his eyes caught a cave in the distant he planned on staying there he spent half of the day hiking to get there but a sound caught him dead in his steps the bad guys were staying there sam thaught for a second about running away but then he remembered his father imagined dean's reaction at hearing what happened to him so he planned on killing those basteds and know what happened and why they were targeting him he hide between the bushes and waited for the right time to start his plan one of the guys got out of the cave and went to the forest and man how much the guys were making it easy on him he didn't find any trouble knocking the guy to the ground and tying him to a tree ,one down still two to go so he waited until dark and he could hear the two man talking about the third as what was keeping him late one of them actually went after him and finally he got the chance go in the cave after 5 minutes he got the other guy also tied to a tree with big rod in his mouth .now he was waiting to jump on the third when he comes unable to find his friend sam knew how to hide and he certainly had a skill with hiding people his dad taught him too much and now he was thinking about it again damn he loved his father but he didn't accept that losing him will destroy him that way he was going to revenge big time he hit the third one with a stone on his head and then he placed him next to he other guy who was stunned to see a 16 years old capable of taking three big guys down .

Now after sam had the attention of the two men he was going to start his interrogation "who are you and what the hell have you done to my father "one of them with a brown hair and strong features busted in laughs sam was confused from his reaction "what am I that funny ?!"sam backhanded him and it gave him a nice feeling until he was met with cold eyes similar to his father's he didn't know why he had the feeling like he was going to be in trouble for this however the man replied "so you are afraid at your father interesting why didn't you run away after you found out he was missing" sam was curious now what the hell that guy meant " dah revenge " he was using some of dean cookiness to hide the fact that he was so afraid " see that defiunetly runs in family " and now sam was 100 percent sure that the man knew about their family about his dad and their way of life "shut up bitch you know nothing about my family " he was angry and stressed out and a wave of adrinalin pushed threw his vains this was getting too personal than he liked it to be "you're sure about this kid ,didn't your dad tell you anything about your mission " it felt like the air was suked from the cave the guy was putting a huge grin on his face seeing how the color drained from sam's face "what the hell are you talking about ? "the guy kept laughing with big smiles and sparkling eyes "tell me damn it " "didn't your dad teach that swearing isn't good for little boys " no way the man was talking seriously now and sam couldn't put up with this anymore he lunched to the man punching his face until the only thing seen was blood , he releaced all of his anger still the man kept talking whispering ugly words in his ears hateful ones so he kept beating and beating not cairing where his fists has landed and when he was drained of all energy he fell to the floor wiping his bloddy hands with his jacket then after he glanced at the now unconsed man he felt discusted of himself he run away and vomited outside of the cave haiting how much week it made him look but lukiley no one was awake to see him .

He didn't want to go back there again he knew that those guys will wake up soon and they will free themselves he has to get out of this forest and see dean he wanted to see his brother so much even if he held him the worst news of his life dean knew how much john meant to his brother , so he got some weapons , food and water from his attackers and went to the forest again he forest found a place to sleep since it was getting late , he woke up next day early very early It was three and a half maybe or four sam could tell from the darkness sorronding him but he made his mind and started his journey it might take him two days to arrive there but he has to make in a less time because he was being followed and if those guys found him again he wont come out of it alive especially after what he did to one of them . he was walking for four hours straight no stop he never thaught before he could make it this far for this long and he wasn't even tired but after days with his father training nothing was now impossible and he knows he can push his body as much as he want and that meant death limites , however he needed to stop and eat breakfast without risking getting caught or noticed ,and so he did then he continued his journey he found traces of animals so he knew that he has to be carefull at night so he had to sleep on trees that would be ,more safe . at night he clambed to a big tree a strong one than he sat at a brench that can handle his wait and he tied himself to it , he tried to sleep but nightmares kept torchring him over and over again but at least a bare didn't eat him he woke up the other day with aching muscles .

He felt pain all over his body his head hurt along with his feets and hands he has a broken rib or two after falling again and again from that tree before he could climb it along with cuts all over his body that he cant remember how he got that all in all he was a total mess , he scanned his area from above and when he was about to get down he noticed some mouvements away he knew that those three men were close to him very close than his liking and he has to get away soon or he will be dead. He gathered his stuff and run not even bothering to stop and catch his breath but he was feeling something wrong a scence of danger and a hunter trust his instincts so he was alert for anything even that didn't help him much when he found himself face to face with the man he punched a day ago he was cleaner though still he had a broken noise and a lot of stitches sam wasn't the slight sorry about that no matter how it made him feel before he wasn't the one who started all of this , seconds later the other two showed up sam tried to buy himself sometime until he found a plan to get him the hell away "hey guy couldn't stay away huh "he saw their faces go dark " funny well you're not going to be that sarcastic after we're done of you " the man glared and with an evil smile before he run to sam setting his mind to cause him harm and so he did sam felt to the ground with the man on top of him and he was flying punches all over some he managed to attack the boy's face and others not so much since sam was fighting like hell ,after minutes sam lost his fight and gave up to exhaustion and the man finally got off him , he went to unconscious later and he woke up again he was tied to a tree with eyes directing at him he couldn't help but to say "why you're keeping me alive ?" he questioned " well we're not done of you yet " one of them spoke " ok than what to do you all want from a 16 years old ?" that sounded more simple than he intended it to be " but you're not any 16 years old teenager are you?" that was kinda true sam thaught to himself like what kid at his age will be spending the summer vacation trapped in a damn forest training right !?then a slap on his face woke him from his deeply thinking " what the hell "all he got a wide villan smile "you should really stop cussing " sam closed his eyes for a moment then he talked " why don't you tell me what you want so we can get it done already " the man answered " so you wanna die ? after everything you've went through, a week of us tracking you hunting you I mean you did a pretty good job " he stopped "based on the circemstances , but I didn't think you'de give up this soon " now it was sam's turn to smile and the man couldn't be more stunned than that and sam actually like to swipe that of his face " i think you've got this the wrong way you see"sam stopped to inphahise his next words"I want to finish the chit chat so I can put an end to what I started last day "the man punched sam square In the face , he busted his lip and sam felt his jaw crack under the power of it but he didn't give the man the satisfaction of seeing him in pain so he spat the blood from his mouth and opened his mouth again "is that all you got old man I've got to tell you I am not impressed ".

after a couple of more punches sam could no longer feel his face , his head hurted like a bitch he had a swollen eye to add to his injuries but he knew he had to buy himself sometime just ebough to losen his hands from the robes and when he finally managed to do so , he cut the man beating him in the hands holding a stone he knocked him to the ground the other two who were watching them saying nothing laughing every time a fist made contact with his body were now straying towards him , he was now between them the first one attended to hit him with his elbow but couldn't instead sam tripped him with his foot good these men could use some training but he was clearly mistaken since the guy didn't fall for the trap and held sam's neck from the behind shoking him sneaky sam thaught but not good enough he learned way to back how to get rid of the headlock ever since dean learned and tried to apply it on him , that guy was strong no doubt in it but sam managed to free himself he knew he cant stand to these two , his fight continued and his strength was gradually decreasing he has to wrap this up soon so he lunched himself to the big guy landing severe punishing getting all that anger and sorrow go away but he was held from a man behind him and he didn't mind giving some blows too , the one on the ground was raising now helding a gun in his hand , but sam caught him soon and was able to get the weapon from his hands killing them was so temting but sam wasn't a monster even if they acted like it towards him so he knocked him off with it and now he has one left to take him down he no longer have any energy and he was close to falling apart but now wasn't the time he pushed himself a little harder and tried to fight the third man who seemed the strongest inspite of his hippiyan look but he knew he had no chance so held the gun towards him warning " don't get close to me or I 'l kill you " that was so lame but he didn't have another option as he ran away he no longer gave a damn about that all he was thinking is how long to arrive to the end of the cursed place .

sam didn't want to look back , didn't want to feel so worry so afraid so scared anymore he went to be with someone he loves and to feel safe even if he wasn't , and finally he was there his vision was blarry but he could sware that he was seeing the image of his father and every time he walked another step the man was getting closer nad closer until they were fasing each other and sam wasn't mistaken now he could smell rusty leather and a femiliar sent he finally had the courage to say " da ad you're a alive !"


	4. Chapter 4

**So hey guys my first fanfiction ever it started as a passion and I hope it continues that way english isn't my first language so please execuse my grammatical mistakes and help ! leave comments and I'll love to keep writing for you**

he was embraced with a worm fuzzy hug he desperately needed and he didn't mind to crash down to the floor letting the tears willingly get soacked in his father t chirt he couldn't believe this his biggest worries vanished in the air and he could finally relax knowing he was safe and sound the hug lasted forever and then they were leaning on the impala with john trying to assess his son's wounds sam had a million question in his mind but they can wait .half an hour later sam started shaking getting extremely nervous sewat all over his face, is features were changing from different emotions john couldn't know why until he turned around and found his three friends walking out of that forest two of them badely bruised and the other intact sam was had tears running down his cheeks now he couldn't believe what was happening to him maybe he should have killed them there but how could he they weren't monsters so he spoke trying to get his father attention back to him " dad we need to get away from here they they are dangeorous people " his voice came out like a bare whisper and his dad wasn't listening each moment they were getting closer and closer sam has to do something "dad they tried to kill me we have to go " now that caught john's ears " what no sam they weren't going to kill you I made that pretty clear to them " sam was shoked his brain couldn't understand this everything froze in his place in his eyes even his dad he didn't now what to do what to believe was he hallucinating maybe he was dreaming about all this but it is so vivid it cant be " a strong boy you've got there john you taught him well " sam woke from his troubled state of mind and there he was the man he threated with a gun and run away talking to his father with a smile on his face "well he busted my nose twice " sam noticed another guy and a third " he cut my hand with a knife add to that a broken jaw and a smashed head " what the hell was going sam thaught to himself he wasn't able to figure anything out " wait out guys and stop complaining like fucking girls " sam looked at his father and he never saw the man like this in his life he looked what was the word ammm proud that was it oh no he was definetly hallucinating , john gruffy voice got him back to earth "I take he made it " now sam got it " yes he did , and pretty good too I didn't believe …" he stopped and glanced at Sammy who was now getting away from them "you didn't tell him did you ?" now he was addressing john with angry eyes as sam backed ferther and ferther he couldn't hear his dad's response .

sam now understood that this what he had to endure from both physical and mental hurt and suffering was one of his dad's tests he didn't want to believe that his father will do such thing but he managed to say in a broken voice " da..ad you didn't I mean you couldn't , would you " john finally looked at his son the boy needed some vitamins in his body for sure he was skinny and pale he was going to calm him but someone tried before him it was a practiced hunter and a fellow friend who after a long persuasion agreed to do this for him it was something important in their lives and it was first assingned by men of letters ,a test to make sure someone is good enough to enter the business and start hunting he himself went through it also dean and now it was Sammy's turn even bobby couldn't refuse the idea although he didn't like it but it gave privilege that they can't refuse in their line of work " son I didn't know, I thought your dad might have mentioned it "he glared at john uneasily but sam yelled not giving a rat's ass about the gentle tone " don't you dare call me son , I am not anybody's son " he paused than continuing in a lowere tone "not after tonight anyway" now he had tears running freely on his face he couldn't stop the feeling of guilt after saying those words an hour ago all he wanted was to have his father back now he wasn't so sure about it anmore , but he was angry and betrayed by a close person by his father for goodness sake he didn't know why the man did this to him but he didn't know if he can forgive him or no , "you know I had to do it this way "john was now addressing the man not looking at Sammy anymore but saying "Sam get in the car" sam didn't even bother himself anymore with the talking he wanted to run to get away as much as he can but he was still frozen in his place he hasn't made his mind yet .

one voice from his father was enough to shut all his idea and throw them in the sea "Samuel I said get your ass in the car now don't make me repeat my words" sam didn't even need to think about it this was an order and orders are meant to follow sam learned this the hard way and with major consequences if he choses not to follow so he went to the car in spite all of his anger and he even shut the door with a loud smack that you can hear it a mile away .he saw his father and his attacker which he still doesn't know his name still talking maybe if he wasn't such a drama queen he would've been able to hear them. the man whose name was rick said to john in a gruffy voice "seems that you role your family with iron fists " john replied shrugging "if that meant saving their lives " the man wasn't questioning like others "I know what you mean I have a son too he's maybe older than yours and it is hard to make him complain these days " now john was surprised he hadn't seen kids been raised like his and he was thinking about getting to know the guy further they kept talking for a while getting to know each other and he was invited to the men's house any time he wanted . they shook hands and then everyone went in his own way john was now in the impala driving while sam was long long sleep seems that the kid didn't get enough rest in a couple of days .they arrived at the house and john was looking at his son every five minutes with guilt squirming in his chest but there was no other way he was so proud of the kid he honestly didn't think he'll survive this long and cause that damage he practicely was able to defend himself against three trained hunters actually two but still he was only 16 now all he has to do is to fix his son's injuries and forget all of this . but that was easier said than done .

sam woke up in a strange place he was lying down on a sofa he felt threatened and was in defense mode in instant he grabbed a gun from the counter right beside him and was next to the door waiting for the kidnapper to arrive he was trying to remember what happened when someone walked in "raise your hands !"john was surprised at the effect of these nights on his son he didnt know if he should be worry or glad " sam it is me son you can relax" sam laid down his weapon and a mix of emotions were riding his face he should be happy he was safe but his father was the one who caused him the harm in the first place why should he trust the man now "relax " he stopped midsentence than continued "you want me to relax funny because the last time I did that I got hunted by three men in a forest " john wasn't about to hear crap from his son they need to get this behind them and move on "watch it boy I had to do what I had to do and that's it this experience is made to toughen you up just like it did with your brother, so suck it up "john knew that was hard harder then he intend it to be but if he was going to protect his kids he needs them strong and that's what that experience did even if he was forced to do it , john couldn't handle the hurt look on his son's face it was killing him showing all the mistakes he did but the words that come out of the boy's mouth hurted more "I thought about killing them dad" and sam broke into tiny little peaces john held him in his arms whispering words of comfort " son but you didn't and that what matters you shouldn't feel guilty at all you defended yourself and I don't doubt that you were able to finish them all but you made the right decision and you showed them mercy now things weren't supposed to happen this way but you survived and I am proud of you" john never said a speech this long but he needed to help his son go through this it was different with dean the hunters community wasn't that strict he was able to train dean without their supervision but now they had his son in their custody the week sam was being tested and if he interfeared things were meant to get ugly so ugly and he couldn't risk that .

sam felt relieved after that he allowed his father to do his stitches and the broken bones "sam report " now back to business as always with the winchesteres " yes sir " sam scanned himself sensing where he has the most pain and the worse injuries than he spoke " dislocated risght a broken hand two broken robs severe cuts all over my body two on my head an infection in my leg a terrible headache a slight concussion that what I can identifie now "he said taking moving areas of his body whimping every time pain stroke him john was stunned at the amount of injuries his son was suffering from he needs hospital but they can't afford the attention so sam has to make with his father medical expertise and from past experience it was going to be a long painful night " okay take off your clothes and lay down on the sofa for me " sam complaid instantly galde to remove everything bloody of him .john started with the broken and dislocated bones it took him nearly two hours to finish with a lot of screams and moans even with the alchohol in his system sam felt the pain they had to move on to the broken ribs sam wasn't able to breath properly during all the operation he didn't even had the chance to relax ,john was trying to be as gentle as possible because these ribs hurts like a bitch he himself knows that but he can't give the kid a break at least not now there is still a lot to fix "dad please stop " sam was trying to move from his dad's touchethat caused him more pain he was out of breath begging his father to show mercy " sam come on we need to finish this " sam was shaking his head he cant take anymore but nevertheless he obeyed getting in position again closing his eyes taking more shots of whiskey as his father continued , john took care of all the broken ribs and now there was still the cuts he stitched them all with a lot of resisting from sam but he finshed the job as clean as he could be he gave his son some antibiotics for the infection and then he watched as he went in sleep looking so peaceful so innocent except he wasn't , not anymore.

John gave sam some time to heal luckily he didn't have a broken bone but structured one so it didn't take long before it healed completely, john was planning now on taking sam to hunts with him not major ones but enough for his son to learn how things go on , sam had a little experience but clearly this was whole new level his job before was to keep guard and watch his brother and father's backs but now he might have to kill evil with his own hands and he has to keep his father alive it was a big burden and he knew the consequences for his slacking no more dean to save the day no more I'll do better next time he is responsible for lives and he has to be up for this responsibility he's going to have a huge weight on his shoulder it is not fair but that's a Winchester life and he's to accept it no matter how much it hurts and how much it costs .he was now searching a hunt nearby strange murders were happening all victims were past abused kids who are now living in new families this case was vairy important and dangeorous two it was definetly a ghost and they managed to locate it ." old man who used to beat his grandchildren after their parents died in a crash , he died two years ago and the kids are now in new homes two of them were dead and there is only one ,I think he's targeting him" john was amazed at his son's skills sam would do research better than anyone he even helped bobby many time he gave the kid a smile and said in his casual voice "good job Sammy, now we need to find the body it might be in the town's gravery ,we'll be heading late tonight , I want you to set everything and get some rest " he then fixed sam with astern look he needed the boy to be in his top shape he then left the room .

Sam prepared everything as his dad ordered him to do ,he didn't like to think about what happened in the forest he pushed the experience from his head as mich as he ccould but in times like these when he was alone he would start to panic to shake violently and tears would strike dowwnw his sheeks it wasn't the injuries that pained him most it was the trauma thinking about his father as a dead man an then finding out that he was alive and he actually allowed some guys to track him down like a wild animal and they were about to kill him he couldn't understand his father motives nor he asks him anything he just assumed that his father was planning on toughening him up and if he wasn't worth it well …. Sweat was forming on his forehead his hands were shaking he was hugging himself again pulling his knees and rocking back and forth until he finally gave up to sleep sitting uncomfortably in the corner of the room . john came later about an hour later watching his son's condition he appeared so wracked and broken , john lifted him and placed him in his bed ,he then sat beside him watching him closely finding comfort in his breathes and sensing a rhythm in the ups and downs of his chest it gave him some peace in his messy life it is been a while since john actually stopped and took a look at his son who now looked terrible with black circles under his eyes , pale skin, marks of cuts all over his face and neck , and most of all he was constantly moving his head ovecely pushing the night mares away he wasn't doing well though "sam son you need to wake up come on let me help you" the moment john's hand made contact with sam's body he woke jerking away from the touch skanning warely his sorroundings searching for any signes of danger or threat , a knife in his hand the other going under the pillow to grab the gun "son you need to calm down it is me you're safe " john couldn't help but to think in spite of his worry over the boy how much sam changed he was more vigilant more like a soldier a hunter sam eased a little after his father words but stood nevertheless eyeing the man suspiciousely he didnt trust him anymore but he complaid obeyed did what he was supposed to do in fear of his father leaving him keeping him away from his brother he hadn't talked or dared to talk to him for 2 months he could accaisionely hear his voice when his father called him but that was it " I am never safe not even with you,…. sir "john didn't know what to rely at that he knew the kid would take some time before he could build the trust again sam wasn't arguing anymore or challenging his authority which worried john the most sam was afraid of him it wasn't due of respect and love for him no it was something deffrent something intense and deap only sam knew but for now they have a mission, lives to save .

Sam spoke first "I prepared everything for the hunt we should go now "john was relieved the odd conversation ended just fine "okay let's go" the hunt went as ordinary as it could possibly go they burned the corpse sam digged the grave with his father they cleaned the traces and went back home sam was drained of every will and force he went straight to the bathroom seems that his dad didn't min waiting twenty minutes but he was wrong "next time sam the older one gets in first " sam smiled at that his father seemed rationalizing like kids in his eyes " yes sir " said sheerfully ," amm dad I was asking if you'll let me speak with dean just for once " john knew the first moment sam called him dad that he was asking for this he didn't have it in his heart to say no but that doesn't mean sam is getting what he asked the easy way "when we complete 2 other hunts "sam wasn't that happy about it he needs to talk to his brother hear his voice his jokes and nasty comments he missed them a lot " k " he didn't have the energy to say more he was disappointed "execuse me !"sam didn't mistaken that tone " I mean yee…..es sir "he said it the most lazy sound he could ever make and that definetly pushed his father ferther "young man front and center "sam jumped at the excess force behind the words so he straightened his back and stood in attention "it seems that you forgot who you're dealing with I am your father" sam wanted to comment at that and a big time he wanted to yell and let everything out he wanted to scream his lungs out but he wont he's too tired to do so "damn it answer me boy " john was furious sam could tell so he said "what do you want me to tell you dad " he was pleading eyes now wishing he kept his mouth shut earlier and accepted what his dad offered him " okay how about 100 pushaps and sit ups , cleaning the guns , writing down some well shosen words of you since you have a lot these days and let's add to that reciting the standard exorcisem 15 times to think about what you want to tell me , I am heading the shower now you can begin" sam couldn't even believe how things went down dratastically in seconds"da..d!" he said uncertainly but his dad was already by the bathroom he was stunned shocked he mumbeled something under his breath while doing his punishement .

He was all sweaty by the time he finished the puhshups and sit ups but he still have a lot to finish he has to write something for his father and it should be good or he'll do it again 100 time his dad came out of the shower when he was beginning the writing john didn't even bother looking at his son he knew the kid must be looking terrible the hunt was weary enough add to that his punishement this night was going to be long , sam gave the paper to his dad who looked satisfaid enough it took him an hour to finish and his father said easily " now rip them apart one after the other " " !" he looked at john expactnatly like he was waiting a confirmation but all he got was a stare daring him to question more to go harder on him so he did as was told and each paper he ripped hurted him for some reason he spent a lot of times wrting thme now his dad was making him to tare them apart with his own hands exhaustion and pain were willing tears up in his eyes but he pushed them keeping a hard mask on his face not to show any emotion "now put them in the fire and go clean the guns " sam watched as the paper burned then his dad allowed him to continue to the guns it took him two hours and a half to finish all of them the way his dad liked and insisted on .now there was still one thing to do and it is the easiest thing or so he thought.

he quikely got dressed in a sweaty and a t shirt and went to his room. He sat there and recited the exorcisim 15 times flawlessely from memory he was just in bed when john walked in " what are you doing I tolde you to do the exorcisim 15 times."

"I did sam insisted""yeah right no one could do it that I doubt you did perfectly"

"but dad I did you weren't here to tell "

"don't argue with me sam you already showed me disrespect once tonight you want to do it again"john barked

Sam flinshed at his father words he didn't want to cause his father any ore dissapointement "exorcisamus te.."

"exorCIsamus te " john corrected

Sam ground his teeth .his mouth felt toungue tied from saying the same words over and over again 15 times already so he cleared his throught and started again "exorcisamus te omnis imoondus spiri.."

"immundus sam"john shook his head "yeah" he scoffed "you did it 15 times already

Sam started to shake he didn't know was but he was "exorCIsamus te omnis immunus spiritus ,omnis incursi"

" you forfot omnis satanica potestas , do you need a copy to look at" john asked clearly annoyed

"no " sam groweled, he took a deap breath and started again not to miss anything" exorcisamus te omnis imoondus spiritus omnis incursi omnis satanica potestas omnis incoursiouinfernaliss adversialy omnis legio omnis congergatio et sacta biolitica …." Sam continued no errors and smiled when he finished he looked at his father

"great " he said sarcastically "it only took you 4 tries"

" I had already done it once …" sam pointed it out

John sighed "yeah! Right "there was acouple of seconds of silence before he shouted "what are you waiting for ! 14 times to go! "

By the time sam was done it was 1 in the morning he was swaying on his feets and he felt like death warmed up

"you can go to bed now " john didn't look tired at all " I want you ready at 5 to continue training

Sam Stared at his father rediciously " dad..!"

" for goodness sake sam . what !" sam stood there for a second, his vision blurry from the exhaustion his feets swelling and his body aching from the days events and from standing still at his father attention for two glared at his son begging him to give him a reason to go harder and harder.

Sam sagged and said" nothing"

John shragged and left the room no good night or good job son nothing sam fell to his bed a single tear fell down his face before he fell instant asleep…


	5. Chapter 5

**I still don't know how should I end this story but it might take time I hope that you enjoy it and tell me what you all think**

Hunt after the other sam didn't know when he was going to see his brother it was training researching hunting more training and all was the same sam couldn't remember the last time when he slept free from pain exhaustion injuries or even bad dreams everytime something would brake inside of him he could feel it deep down but he hided his emotions and kept them to himself his dad definetly didn't want to know about them especially when he was going harder and harder on him every single day he even started to physicely strike him every time he went off line he was getting less sleep his father even withhelded food sometimes he lost several pounds even his dimpels weren't showing that much but this was good for him he will have a chance to make his father proud .

he was now sitting by the dinner table drawing complexe devil trapes that even experienced hunters will find it difficult to do his father ordered him to draw it perfectly with a perfect circle and everything john was watching him now hovering over him which made him nervous and cause the pen to do things he didn't have control on his father yelled "last chance sam" sam didn't know why he was shaking he couldn't move his hands his fingers felt numb from hours sitting there and he mixed the symbols all together he felt familiar to the taugh hand on his shoulders that were now dragging him to the sofa he watched as his father grabbed himself a chair and set in front of his son looming closer and closer and sam's breathes were getting shorted by each movement john had to order his son to calm down so he speak with him properly "sam look at me " when sam didn't reply he backhanded him with full force that the kid fell to his side putting his hands on his face with looks of betrayal hurt and disbelieve "straight up and look me in the eyes boy "he shouted sam immediately changed his position and dared to look at his father with his green puffy dog eyes that seemed so much like Mary's "yes sir " he hated the way his vice was shaking but he couldn't help it " our lives depends on this sam dependes on the little things we know , this stupid devil trap might keep us alive might save dean or me don't you want that or are you better off without us no one to keep pushing you ordering you around "

tears were leeking down freely on sam's face his father's words hit on him too hard much more than he could possibly endure he hated showing weekness in these times when his father was around he didn't know if the man was testing him or trying to push him away but it was working he couldn't even get the words out of his mouth which is surprising for him but he managed to say in a low voice close to a whisper "dad I am sorry I am doing my best" he didn't think john was able to hear but nothing get past the hunter's ears "well I think we're not enough for you to put in the extra effort " sam was sobbing by the time john finished the words were slicing him more than his dad's belts " dad please I am trying i can't … I just …." John sighed this wasn't the thing he wanted to hear from his youngest " I will be leaving soon to sheck on your brother while you are going to stay in here until I come back " sam's head shot up at the mention of his brother but it bend down as fast as it came up he wasn't going to see dean his father was punishing him again but he didn't mind testing his luck and pleed his father doing some of that poopy dog eyes he is so much famous off "dad please let me .."john caught him in that word he wasn't having any of it now so he continued " you'll be doing more training and your researching time will be doubled " john was looking at the sad features covering his son's face the training was hard enough now imagine everything doubled "I want you to call me every day no matter what time it is , you'll fill me with everything " he glared at his son with warning behind his eyes "and then maybe just maybe you'll be able to see dean at the beginning of the school's year , got it " it was sam's turn to sigh it is been too long since he saw dean and now his father was going to see him while he was still stuck in that cabinet doing yet more hard assing training that will definetly burn his muscles and body to sleep every night john scuffed trying to get sam back to earth but clearly the kid didn't hear him " understand !?" sam finally paid attention "yes sir !"

john then went to the kitchen ordering sam to stay where he was he then returned with some kind of hard sand that can cut anything easily with enough pressure he eyed his father as the man threw some to the ground creating a small circle " come here " sam replied instantly wipping the tears from his face with the back of his sleeves he stood at full attention in front of the man something he thought he would never do mechanically like dean seemed to always do " neel down" it was a simple order sam didnt hesitate at all he did as was told he placed his knees on the ground gritting his teeth when he felt needles in them he then balanced himself putting his feets beneeth him , he kept the position for two hours straight he no longer sensed his feets his back hurted his neck everything seemed blurry even his father who was watching while drinking his beer he saw the man's face expressions change from dark to anger to sadness even compassion which didn't last long but mostly he kept an emotionless face , finally sam was done "you can get up now son" sam didn't thing he heard his father right so he kept his head bound down tears were leeking from his eyes to his sheeks and then landing on the floor he hated how week he sound and looked but luckily nothing more than 2 or three tears came out he wasn't going to brake not now no matter how unfair all he went through was john called another time "sam get up " sam whipped with the back oh sleeves the mix of sweat and the track of tears then he stood up very slowly he didn't think It would hurt this much but it did and he hissed as he made the last move and was heading to his room when his father voice stopped him again "not yet , you still have to recite how to make silver bullets 10 times "sam looked disbelievenly at his father "dad..!" john didn't change his mind he never does and sam knew he doesn't stand a chance he looked at his father and for the first time ever emotions drawn from his eyes face even expressions there wasn't anger or fury just plane hard ass cold looks .

he recited what his father told him to with no mistakes at all perfectly like he'd done it a million times john looked impressed sam didn't give a shit he just want this done and get some sleep john got off his chair and hugged his son placing his hands around the skinny tall boy sam didn't ley any feelings he just waited his father to finish ,"can I go now sir " john left his son knowing the kid would need time to return to his normal self "yes you can " john didn't know that his son changed forever sam used to be the needy one for showing love and emotions in his family but that all went now there was nothing left after the horrible things he saw hunt after hunt he looked at the world in a different view now he no longer cared that much about anything and nothing got his attention not even new books novels it was strict hunting books for him learning more about the supernatural the need to now the in and out of every ugly horrible monster that wants to kill him , at first sam didn't to bare reading much and if he didn't have a nightmare from what he went through and saw he was having nightmares about monsters in books vivid images blood scares terrible forms of faces that no child could should be exposed to but what forced him to keep reading no matter how scared he felt was his dad speech "the monster you know nothing about , the creature you don't know how to kill will kill one of the people you love wether it is me dean " sam remembered mumbling to his father with tears and red eyes "please dad stop" but john kept whispering in his ears "it can be bobby, caleb and it already took your mum " sam caught how his father had to calm down and take a long breath before he said those last words he himself broke at the mention of his mother wanting everything to stop "I can't … it's hard to read .. so real .. so alive please don't make me "

john knew this was hard cause those weren't any ancient books sam was reading even he cried when he red them first when he learned about the existent of monsters the sons of bitches that cost him not only his love and life but his son's too and that what gave him the will to keep pushing his kids much more than they can possibly handle so he kept pushing Sammy "we count on you Sammy more than you know I've started trusting your research since you were 12 dean trust you with his life watching his back every time so tell me do you want to let your family down "sam understood his father it made perfect sense he could never argue that but most of all he believed in it and that gave him the courage every time to continue learning reading and researching time after time still some dark stuff send him out yelling hitting punching even running which he now liked the most and used it to free himself and relax his nerves .

the next morning john was leaving he waited until sam got back from his run the kid kept getting better and better and sam could feel it himself but neither of them was declaring it because they both knows it can be better and that's what sam was working on running for extra miles all the time while john was constantly upgrading levels .he prepared everything and all was now in his truck and while he was drinking his coffee sam arrived and he looked terrible the kid was definetly putting in the effort , their eyes met for a second before sam said in hesitation "dad ..! you're leaving now" john didn't know what to say but he hoped that his youngest will drop the issue " you'll be running 10 miles each day since you won't be able to do any sparring but you'll still be practicing on shooting , I want the standard physical training but doubled and there's some research I want you to do it until I got back " john said It like it was the easiest thing in the world but sam didn't care about the training it was the least of his worries " please … dad.. let me go and see dean I'll do whatever you say , I'll train as much as you want ..just " his father cut him off there he couldn't hear any more pleas and instead of calming his son who locked very close to heart attack he said in his most authority voice that was now so familiar "we've talked about this do as you're told " john was feeling the burn of guilt in his stomach he hated himself for separating his kids but he didn't have a choice dean was still with bobby and he hadn't seen him in months and everything was going wrong bad people were targeting his family and this is the only way he knows that can protect them .sam wasn't thinking in the same line as john was and he lost all temper he used to have " no ! I am not I've done everything you've asked me for and I am sick of this ,sick of training and hunting and sick of you "

in a second john was near his son invading his personal space , head to head and his breaths were coming shorter and shorter he said in a dangeorous voice "you mind saying that again boy? " sam didn't care about scratch in that point " I said I am sick of hunting training and you" john was about to explode his fingers in a death grip on sam's collar his knuckles white as snow and dark glares with fire been send to his son's face he then all of a sudden went outside shoving sam away to the ground he headed towards the forest to calm his nerves he wasn't punishing his boy when he was angry no he swore to himself he'll never do it but the boy was pushing too far ,sam was still on the ground in shoc what the hell just happened his father never leaves a room like this he knew he was in for the whipping of his life john never tolerate talking about hunting that way and escpecially not from his youngest he joined the life to revenge his wife and keep his kids safe and he wasn't going to put with it anymore it wasn't the first time sam spoke such thing but it was going to be the last for sat on the couch knowing what was next to came and preparing himself for the consequences of his actions he thought about running away but It wouldn't do him any good john will be able to find him eyes folded easily , so he just send a silent prayer to stay alive after his dad do his work on him.

Half an hour later john came again holding a long thin flexible switch in his hand he was going to teach the boy a lesson he locked his son in the eyes and said coldly"bend over the couch now" sam instantly obeyed it wasn't the first time through this couple of weeks when he earned himself an adjustment in behavior, he learned not to fight it because the last time he did he earned himself 20 extra welts but he tried to persuade his father not to punish him "dad.. please "though it didn't work his father shoved him to the couch and begun .whip after the other sam was able to compose himself letting out a whisper or a small yell each time the switch hit him he could hear the sound of it striking the air slicing it before landing on his backside but he didn't dare to get out of position or he's going to make his father even angrier he pushed through the pain sweat tears and shaky breaths as long as he could until he could no longer take it anymore "whip!" sam screamed from all his lungs " ahhh…! " he cried and cried even though his father didn't stop he felt more relieved he didn't care if he looked week he was hurting a lot he could feel the bruises forming the blood dripping , the cuts opening more his dad was hitting the same places on his sit spots and the back of his thighs to drive the lesson home he pleaded and begged and promised " da..ad please , I so… so .. sorry" and when nothing worked he just laid all force extracted from his body all will used and vanished ,his father applied six whips before he even started lecturing " I never want to hear you say that again "he was breathing hard, exhausted "understood ?" sam used that time to take break which wasn't even seconds long and then the switch made his move again "understood!" said john more feercefuly he thought the kid was ignoring him but in fact sam never heard him in the first place in the mess of pain and slow breathing trying to get himself under control " god… please stop" that wasn't what john wanted to hear so he continued his work landing more and more on his son's body getting down and down each time sam sobbed in his arms he was shaking and he tried to get out of position to free himself but his father long tough arms held him in place he knew he was going to die cause it felt like it , like someone was playing his skin with knives .

He kept shaking and that didn't stop john sam wasn't learning yet he wasn't confessing his faults yet, so he added more force under each blow he didn't know where to hit sam's skin was tearing apart and the kid was still too stubborn he feared he might cause damages to his boy if he kept on so he asked again " do you understand me sam ?" sam didn't know what his father was talking about "dad .. what? what to understand" his voice was broken , shaken but he managed to say that, john couldn't believe what was happening after all the punichment his son was having he still refused to admit, that made him lose all the temper he had in check and he no longer held anything in he let it out and that freaked sam out one second he was answering his father and the other he didn't know what was happening a strong feeling was rushing in his vains and then everything went dark and he passed out and for a while he felt pace and come and especially relief . john was still using the switch until he realized that sam wasn't moving the switch broke at the sam time he throw it away and ruched to the couch he checked for pulse and everything and it was clear that sam was out from shock so he brought water and tried to get his son back to conscious 10 minutes later sam started opening his eyes and when john tried to touch he backed down violently sitting at the end of couch far from his father he pulled his knees together after he fixed his clothes and starred at the ground not wanting his eyes to meet his dad's he was angry at the man ashaimed for passing out in front of him but most importantly afraid and scared to death , john tried to come closer even more but when he saw that look on his youngest he backed down that look that told him he'd done something wrong that he caused harm much greater for him to be able repair ,to put the pieces back together .

So he faced the situation in the only way he knew it he barked an order " front and center " his voice wasn't loud but it was said in a tired voice a guilty one the one of a father that forgot how to be one the father who felt easier to deal with his children as soldiers than actual kids sam knew that tone well he's heard it a million times before and that familiarity was the one that woke him from meditating the ground , and in spite of the agonizing pain hitting all over his body he managed to stand on his feats after some pained voices ,his head bellowed gaze down fatigue showing he was a whole disaster but he obeyed and was at full attention in front of his father and he never hated anything more than the fear creeping inside of him , " I never ever want to do that again ok " sam replied with the perfect answer " yes sir " john was satisfaid for the moment he knew that he has done the right thing but it felt wrong , he chook that feeling and headed towards the door he hadn't made it to the kitchen before he heared sam " I didn't hear your first question " it was as simple as that john dropped the bag he was holding in hand at the ground and turned to look at his son he should have known better than that his son laid down unconscious because of him because he couldn't control himself " sam ! what ? " he returned to stand in front of his son and the moment sam saw his father come again he changed his position into full ready soldier pose and lowered his head . john tried to lift his son's head he wanted to apologize to the kid and look him in the eyes although john Winchester never apologized but he needed to make things right ,but the moment he put his hands on sam's shoulders the kid flinched away " just …. don't touch me " john didn't know what to say his own kid from his own flesh and blood was discusted from him and he has all right to be because he made a mistake he let his own emotions gets the best of him and that's why he liked to be a drill sargent rather than a father , it saved a lot of hurt and it was easier than to deal with feelings ,just suck it up and move on .

He still have to deal with the situation he put himself in it "I didn't know Sammy " sam let out a shrug with a moqing smile as he managed to say "well it is always like that with you , …sir " he added just to be safe with no intent of respect of course but his body can't handle more then what's already been done to it ,john didn't give up though so he added " I am sorry for my last break down I shouldn't .."He didn't even got to complete his apology when sam interrupted in a shallow broken whisper " please ..just go already " it was the 100 time he pleaded his father that morning which was the worst in his 16 years life . john couldn't know what else to do so he grabbed his bag again and went outside with nothing to say but "by Sammy " at least he let the kid take the day off .


	6. Chapter 6

.he went to his truck and began the journey back to bobby's house , it was a 10 hours driving straight before he arrived his son was starring as the window and the moment their eyes met the kid rushed outside with bobby behind him he was desperate to see his brother he hasn't gone out of the house for all summer and the only reason anyone gave him was that it could endanger his life as well as his brother's that also dangeorous people were watching now they were not just worried about monsters wanting to kill them but from people too and that made dean so angry they never get a break do they ?

he saw his father hugged him checked the truck and no trace of Sammy and that freaked him out "dad ! where is Sammy , did anything happen to him ,is there anything wrong ?"he couldn't stop the questions from coming out nor his mind from guessing every scinareo that could've happened . john knew he was going to get this reaction" son you need to calm down sam is still at the cabin "and here go the blow out "what !? by himself alone " he shouted in his father face and then he was looking right and left as he stroke his hair which he does frequently every time he feel confused and while he was thinking " I need to go there , make sure he's safe i..i" john held his son's shoulders shaking him to pay attention to what he has to say " no dean you wont , sam is safe and I'll be back to him in a couple of days " dean couldn't believe his dad who raised him to always watch for sammy always o keep him alive and now he excpect him to just lay down while his brother is unprotected "dad what are you saying !so I am just supposed to sit my ass in here where sam is in god knows what cabin you dumbed him in " john wasn't going to accept this attitude he already had a fight this morning he wasn't in for another one " dean you listen to me and you listen well when I say you're not going I mean it and don't you dare disobey me" he stopped to let the words sink in and then he resumed " now get your ass in that house right now and prepare yourself for a run with me " bobby didn't interfere till now when the wenchester men were bucking heads with each other and that was never good so he said " come on dean I am sure your father wont leave sam unprotected now do as he told you " he pushed the kid towards the house and then looked at the man when the kid was out of sight " ya idjit ! what the hell are you doing with your kids ?can't you see you're tearing them apart they wont be able to hold it any longer and it will blow up in you f* face "

" just a little more longer I cant risk losing them forever bobby " john was right it might destroy his family but at least it will keep them alive and they'll go through this they always do the men talked for a while before returning to the house .after sam watched his father leave the house he cashed to the ground embracing himself with crying he stayed there until there was no tears left in his eyes this was too stressful for him the weight of three months was back on his shoulders in an instant and nightmares will definetly be chasing him . he composed himself and he hated every bit of his week self that couldn't stay all in one piece that was shredding bit by bit with every day passing out he promised himself he will never ever break that way he would push through everything and suck it up with no complaining and no baby tears he wont ever forgive himself for being that pathetique but he'll put it behind and learn from it he'll make sure to never let it get that far . he went to the bathroom to take a long relaxing shower to wash all humiliation and shame he then took a look at his body it will need a long time to heal but it wont kill him unless he got an infection ,he cleaned the cuts putting bandages on it stitching deep ones working on broozes and broken skin , damage wa done from the low of his back to his legs and certainly his father didn't hold anything out he was largely deeply injured in some places but he didn't use any drugs nor cream unless it was super important for infection and purifying he wanted the pain to remind him with the vow he made to himself earlier , thought the pain was unbearable and at some point his hands started shaking and he couldn't stop them his whole body was getting cold and worm in a second his vision was blurry and everything seemed to spill around but that didn't stop he knew what needed to be done and he did it . after finishing he went to bed and slept for two hours exhaustion finally kicking in letting no room for anything else .

Sam woke up at the sound of screams pleadings blood and everything seemed mixed up from hunts and his daily miserable life ,and the only he knew how to clear his head was with another run to let all the anger fade and so he did for 5 miles until he stopped in that old bench he used to sit in when he was tired of working out , those days now seemed like a dream to him , a long lost memory but he liked to live it again so he went and sat although he wasnt tired a bit the constant training was paying off magnifesantly , after 5 minutes sam was heading back when a figure from behind stopped him he was going to attack until he heard a familiar voice one he couldn't recognize but know he heard it before " hey ! I haven't see you in a while " sam turned and saw the man whose name was ben now he remembers him " yeah hi I've been out of town for a while" said sam while shaking ben's hands " oh man you look terrible what happened?" ben was still curious as why sam disappeared in a day and now he's back but he wasn't going to push the matter now " well I hope you don't mind me joining you I am getting a little rusty you see but I kept training " sam shuckled at that " well if you think this is a training "now ben was in for a challenge " I bet , I can beat you to your house " sam was impressed ben wasn't afraid of a competition but he wont stand a chance anyway " okay , deal but if you lose you're going to spend the day training with me " sam would use a little company the guy looked like dean and he sensed something familiar about him "oh right lets get this show on the road " ben counted to one and he was gone running even with that sam knew he was going to win and he surely did with an hour and a half difference between them and it could be more if sam's body condition was better .

He was leaning under a tree when ben showed up out of breath looking with wide eyes " how the hell you did that !" sam laughed " I've been running miles since I was 6 " ben was stunned with that statement but he didn't show it " so I am stuck for a whole day huh !" he laughed himself too sam responded " living the life , lets get started we're already late " ben was excited , he was going to learn more about this Sammy boy and he was gaining a friend a brother he considered now since his brother died 5 years ago in a gangs fight outside the town. sam went easy on him super easy doing only 200 push aps with 100 sit ups and other staff they did some sparring which he beat ben's ass in it for the first time he was winning he let the guy throw a punch or t not to break his spirit but they had fun which was good it wasn't dark and serious like with his father no the mood was lighter they trained for 3 hours until sam called it a quit he knew ben cant handle much they went inside the house to eat and drink something probabely watch a movie and sam was thrilled , they were by the couch watching a Godzilla movie so typical yet entertaining " I know you've went easy today way more easy than I think you normally does and I appreciate that I just hope you wont get in trouble for it " sam swallowed and then he commented " true ,but don't worry I've got this, I enjoyed spending time with you"well that went well ben thought to himself "so what would be your typical training for today ?" sam knew it was wrong to talk to strangers but bringing them home and telling them about his life was crazy was pure insanity but he finally had someone he could talk to him three months three months he rarely talked in it with any one besides his father and now he has the chance to have company and he wouldn't screw it around " you wont believe it if I told you " said sam not taking his eyes from the television but ben was serious about what he asked " try me "

sam was starting to like the guy so much he was so alike dean not afraid always challenging so he answered in as much as honesty as he could tell " well ,see my father likes running and it is a primary thing in our family every morning we would as much as dad says if it's 10 miles well do 15 well do it even if he said 20 we wont hesitate to start so we can finish before supper " sam ended laughing a bit he didn't know why but maybe because he remembered dean and that time he kept pushing him to harry up so they can arrive at time and eat , they didn't at the end but a nice long 15 miles memory was made . ben was stunned so he reluctantly said " no wonder you raced me and won man I invade you , I want to become a soldier and serve my country but it might take time before I got to do that " sam admired the guy he had good ambitions " nice man but you have to step up your game "

" true but aren't you kinda of young to be doing that excessive work "

"you're never too young to die and if you can protect yourself you'll get at least a chance to fight for your life " sam hated the fact that he sounded just like his father

" my brother died when couple of guys attacked him coming home from work so I guess if he was stronger he would be still be alive today" sam turned off the television and looked at his face " I am sorry I didn't know " ben replied immediately after shrugging "doesn't matter it was years ago , I need to go now it is getting late " he stood up and hugged sam " thanks for everything " and then he went home . when sam closed the door he noticed that he still haven't laid out any salt lines if his dad ever knew he would be in deep trouble so he brought the salt back and protected the house making sure everything was right and then he continued his training did some research and went to sleep at 11 .

A week passed and sam spent it getting to know his new friend better with each day spending more time with him and started to consider him a real brother he understood him well and never made judgment never asked too much, he trained with him and although he didn't do everything like his father asked he didn't regret a second the broses on his body were still hurting him badly some cuts healed the other didn't he cut some stitches while he kept others for extra time to let the skin heal properly and he felt lucky not to get any infection considering the damage done to all his body and training didn't give him any time to rest he was doing most of it at night since he spend the day with ben and couldn't come hard on him that much , he was looking horrible by the time his father showed up .they sat in the living room in an awkward silence john was too guilty to say anything and sam didn't have anything to say so he put all of his focus into the book he was reading in latin it took time but it was worth it held a lot of rituals about deamons and especially ghosts . they ate dinner and slept the night . the next day went as ordinary as it could possibly go with john Winchester , they had to go to the supermarket to get grocery and sam was happy that he could see his friend there .the ride in the truck was silent except for the sound of classical rock music , and they finally arrived sam went first thrilled to go in he asked for ben and when he saw him he rushed and hugged him tight john was right beside his son " aren't you going to interduce me to your friend sam ?" sam jumped at the sound of his father but luckily ben didn't notice " this ben ben this dad " they shook their hands and john knew that guy was a hell of a men he knew him from the shook of his hand it was firm and strong and confident like his son dean "you have a strong son sir " said ben all of a sudden john smiled proudly but the guy knew something he could feel it " I know " replied john looking at sam who sounded embarrassed

" I've been training for more than two weeks and he still can beat my ass at running " now john understood sam was spending more time than he should with ben and that was dangeorous and wreckless he's taught the boy better than this relations are good but you never trust anyone on your life and sam was way young to put risks like this he was supposed to stay in line , john didn't show his anger at all he learned way before that to hold anything out of strangers they were leaving any way " I see well I need to go and bring some groceries I'll leave you boys by yourselves " he gave his son a nod and then he left their sight he need to get himself under control before doing anything stupid his son was making a terrible mistake but he could understand him though he isn't going to let it pass without a lecture . when he left ben turned towards sam figure shaking a bit by his first impression " oh man your dad looks scarry " sam laughed from all his heart while ben was looking at him ridiceloussely " you should see him when he gets angry "

"more than this !" "what! he looks in a good mood today " "how the hell did you survive to 16 ?!" he shuckled at his own words "he never punished us in anger" said sam matter of fact but there was a hitch in his voice that told ben that there might be exceptions of that " the important thing is that he loves you right " sam didn't want to answer that he wasn't sure anymore so he replied " yeah " he hated saying things he didn't believe in they kept talking for a while before his father showed up they paid and returned home .john was sheking everything closely salt lines weren't laid down right as he taught his son guns were used and not cleaned half of the research he assigned sam to do was unfinished and the truth of their lives was at the verge of being exposed he shouldn't have left the boy that way broken when anyone could take advantage of it he didn't see anything wrong with ben but his hunter instincts told him more , he sat by the couch with sam standing in front of him " report now " sam froze in the kitchen while he was putting everything in his place john barked "sam!" he replied instantly" yes sir " he thought that he would have a one week break from that word but he was mistaken when he went to ben's house he couldn't stop calling his dad and mom sir and maam even when they asked him to call them in their first names he still hesitated he was enrolled to respect and give authority even when he hated it and one week wouldn't get that out of him not ever he went to his father straight heart thumbing in his chest "do I have to repeat myself every time" he was angry and that was clear in his voice and tone

" sorry sir , I did the run every day but I skipped a day of training I .."sam didn't even get to continue what he was saying since his father cut him off "what ! you skipped a whole day and didn't think you should've mentioned it ?" he was furious beyond furious and inches away from tearing the boy up for not doing what he was told to do "dad I was going to but …" john held his hands up he didn't want to hear anything more he thought about giving the kid a break but now he saw that he doesn't deserve it "go out and bring me a switch" sam's head was down but he lifted up the moment he heard about that devil thing that was going to cut through him he haven't even healed from the last punishement and some stitches were still on tears were filling his green shiny eyes and his whole body was shaking slightly " dad !don't " he couldn't get more than that out of his dry mouth "now sam you know what happens when you leave me waiting " memories lashed themselves on sam he knew very well what would happen and he wont be pleased at the end so he adjusted his stand in a soldier one , a one ready to fight and embrace everything that gets lashed in its face he said with a strong voice " yes sir " and he went outside although john didn't admit it but he was proud of his son for acting this way for facing him like a man and handling the consequences for his actions with no showing fear he came in after a minute holding a long steady switch as if challenging his father who picked it and moved it around a couple of times to know which effects it can done and how much power would it take him to teach sam how to respect his orders even when he is away because pulling a risk like that would kill him someday and he wasn't going to let that happen he sat by the couch while his son was still standing tall and ready he ushered him to come closer and so he did " take of your pants and turn around facing the door "sam did as he was told no hesitation or delaying the inevitable he was going to accept anything his father do to him as much as he can and he isn't going to beg not this time not ever again he made a vow to himself and he was planning on sticking to it .


	7. Chapter 7

_**Thanks to the people who followed my story for the ones who enjoyed it and given me support like Dr. Serpico I can't wait to read your stories as well please review and give me your opinions I am interested I hope you enjoy the new chapters as well as I did writing them**_

He didn't know what his father wanted to do but shurely didn't have anything to do with his backside he hoped ,and then it started john bringing down the switch on sam's legs , he's never done that to one of his kids but he was going to try it now maybe it'll leave a bigger impact "whip !"came the sound of each blow a loud buzzy voice you can hear it all over the place sam didn't know it hurt that much it was harder than anything else his dad applied it will hit the flesh and muscles and would leave a long lasting sting john worked from the top to the down several times over and over and sam was holding out bravely in spite of the pain , john increased the force behind his hand and stroke the same area three times before moving to the other by the time he finished his son was in tears silent ones coming on the floor one after the other and after he stopped for a while he was able to hear them but sam whipped them away quickly trying to get his breathing under control "when I tell you something boy you do it even if I am absent you don't go on disobeying my orders the moment I turn my back " he was yelling and sam was still facing the entrance so john grabbed him by the hands roughely and turned him towards him "you understand me ?" he was waiting an answer but sam's head was in the ground he didn't even look at him "look at me boy when I am talking to you !damn it !"he shaking the boy and still no answer and that rose hell so he pushed him far and continued his punichement but this time on the front of his son's legs sam still hasn't say a word ,john kept striking letting the switch blow in the room and hitting the skin only to be lifted again and being swing again and again for 10 times that was working slowly sam was in tears bangs covering his eyes his feats shaking unable to support him any longer and he was on the verge of breaking down when he heard his father barking "don't you dare getting out of position or I'll start again" he stopped dead in his place his head lifting a bit with a stunned look and then sent down again john hit him another 5 before he stopped if he continued he would endanger his kid permanently and he didn't want that sam was injured no arguing in that but he was going to live .

Sam was looking at his long legs the only part of his body that didn't have that much scares but now they have. he was covered in swellings forming broses and cuts again nothing needed stitches which is good but they still hurt like a bitch he couldn't feel his legs anymore they were dumb and he never thought he could ever walk again he hoped his father wont ask him anything else but he was wrong " sit down !"he barked , sam looked disbelievgnly at his father how the hell was he soppsed to sit on his messy swollen legs . john was eyeing his son daring him to say a word to get harder on him but sam obeyed letting a painted scream every time he moved an inch "ahh hh" he moaned when he finally sat on the floor he sat for two hours before his father allowed him to go and clean up he thought that sitting was hard but standing again was a whole lot harder , he went straight to the bathroom he felt as if his body was on fire he stood under the shower and cried until his voice hitched and his lungs burned and his throt felt dry he then got out and brought the first aid kid to clean his marks .

He hadn't put his head on his pillow until his father yelled his name"sam!" he went down to see his father still on the couch sam was beginning to hate the man who didn't even give him a chance to explain himself he just went hard on him hitting slash after the other , he was didn't want to look in the man's eyes not from fear or shame it was discust " sam eyes up " he didn't respond so john backhanded him on the face , sam didn't react too he knew he was getting that slap and he immediately returned his head who fell sidewalk behind john's hands . the marine felt his blood blow and his patience go to zero saying he was angry was an understatement john stood at his full hight causing sam to back down and to tripped to the ground falling down eyes shining with tears john was seconds from tearing his kid apart but he didn't he always draw a line for himself and he promised to never cross it but that was getting hard day after day .sam felt betrayed his father never done that to him and he couldn't help but to say " I hate you ! "john backs away at those words they cut through his chest hard fast and painfull but he hide it as he always does with his emotions "you always look me in the eyes like a man , like a Winchester or you don't deserve the name , got it boy " sam had tears in his eyes now but he wasn't going to let them fall to prove his father that he didn't deserve his last name , john yelled again fists clenched knuckles itching to hit something " got it !" sam shook his head in a confirmation but he knew better than that " cant hear you boy " he was getting frusterated each second passing , sam saw that so he replied in the most perfect soldier tone he could muster under the circumstances "sir,yes sir " john then took his keys and headed to the closest bar he was planning on getting drunk as much as he could ".

Sam was relieved after his father left because every time he was around he was tense and uncomfortable and always knew something wrong could happen , he was still on the floor so he got on his feats and laid down on the sofa instead of the bed his father will be here after a couple of hours and he will have to take care of him .he slept for hours and he was still tired it was 3 in the morning and someone was trying to open the lock and he knew who was that so he opened the door and gazed his father from the top to the toes the man was clearly out of his mind so he steadied the man and got him to bed as quikely as he managed under the heavy weight , he was still beside his father who looked moments away from throwing up lukiley sam caught that and brought a bucket and kept it close to his father lifting it every time the man vomited . john hated the way he looked week in front of his son so he pushed away every time he got the chance and didn't feel dizzy , sam was still too stubborn to leave his side but he finally felt tirred and slept on the ground .

John woke up the next day earlier than his son so he prepared himself a cup of coffee after he placed sam on the bed to sleep more comfortably , he prepared breakfest and waited .sam was up two hours later and john was in the kitchen reading his newspaper looking for their next hunt though he didnt find anything worth cheking out , sam moved step by step "are you trying to kill me son cause if you are we need to work on that steps " that was john even when he tries to joke he includes training or hunting , sam jumped at the son but no longer tried to sneak " dad I am sorry i .."john was confused as why his son was apologizing sure he f* up when he came home last night but he put it behind a new day a new start but sam continued knowing how much his father hated when he stopped middle sentence and couldn't get his act together and confess his mistakes " I should have woken up earlier , I don't know what happened .." he trailed of unable to find a good execuse he haven't stayed sleep till 8 for a long time not even with dean and hoped not with his dad who forced him to wake up early in the morning to do runs "it is okay we'll be practicing on the crossbow today " sam was stunned but if his father is satisfaid he should feel the sam right! but it didn't felt that way it was strange and out of his daily routine that didn't mean that he was going against his father plans for the day "yes sir right away " he was heading to his room to change and prepare everything .john felt pride his son was finally learning the life style but he didn't know what it cost in return .

They went to the forest and set everything from targets to cleaning the ground from rocks and obstacles .john was now teaching his son how to use the weapon he then handed him to start their training john kept adjusting his son's posture hands fingers warning him of the consequences of each fault he might do "Never dry fire," he said close to Sam's right ear as he put the bolt into the groove. "All that pressure and nothing to push against, and you'll have a little explosion on your hands and fiberglass in your face." Then he pointed.

"Click off the safety, and keep your-No." He stopped, tugging at Sam's fingers. "Like I showed you before weren't you paying attention"

Sam swallowed and moved all the vulnerable bits of his fingers out of the way. He could feel the pressure of the string against the bolt, the thrust building up behind the cock of the firing trigger. The stupid thing was more dangerous to operate than it was worth. He flipped the safety off with his thumb, then moved his thumb out of the way.

"Go ahead and fire," said Dad. "You'll miss, but that'll help us figure out how you'll compensate for my site. And, actually, it's better if you can adjust for any-"

Sam hefted the crossbow into place. He looked out across the field, pulled the trigger, and the bolt flew. Straight out, into the sunlight, making a zinging noise and a thwump sound as it sank into the target. The crossbow suddenly felt light in his hands without the pressure of the cocked string, the weight of the bolt. His arms swung upwards, in recoil, the crossbow almost smacking him in the face, but Dad's hand was on his elbow to steady him.

There was silence for a moment, as the heat thrushed through the grass and the cicadas hummed and scratched somewhere in the bank of green trees, and john was admiring sam's bulls eyes.

"Well," said sam, swallowing. "That was a lucky shot, huh, Dad?"

"Huh," said Dad. He was squinting into the heat, eyes on the target, jaw working as he thought it out. "Cock it up again, Sam."he did as was told and he felt happy about it for once he was good at something and his dad was satisfaid from his work it brought a nice calming peace to his mind that he actually made his father proud of him . he lifted the crossbow again and shot it hit the same place over and over and over again but after 4 hours sam lost his intrest he was beyond tired the crossbow was heavy and he couldn't stop his hands from shaking he didn't even get 5 minutes rest and his body was screaming for it although his shots were perfect john didn't want to stop there he was making it harder and harder each time wether with a heavier weight much to sam dismay or with a farest target and impossible ones they were .sam couldn't old it forever and his hand slipped away causing the bolt to miss sam slowely looked at his father to see his reaction and asked "What?So I missed, so what? I don't want to do this anymore "

"Sam," he said, and Sam looked at his father, trying to keep his face still. But something flickered across john's face, and the scowl was starting. Sam's heart jumped.

"You did that on purpose," said Dad. "You missed on purpose.""No, I didn't."

"Yes, you did, now where do you think that's going to get you?"

"But I didn't-"

John held up his hand to cut Sam off. "You have to do your best, and if you don't that's like lying to me ""

"This is stupid." He heard the words come out of his mouth before he could stop them, felt the scathing ring in the air.

"Don't you take that tone with me." Sam walked away wanting to go as far as he can but he wasn't fast enough since john held him in a second clear anger on his face but contained one

"If you ever-" he said, slowly, carefully, a pause marking each word, "I'm telling you Sam, just one more step out of line and I'm handing you a switch whipping. I don't care if it's next week, or tomorrow, or five minutes from now. You will toe the line, you get me?" sam froze he couldn't take another whipping and after a minute of silence "Well?" asked Dad, his jaw hard, his eyes flickering like dark slices of coal. "What's it going to be, Sam?"

He didn't dare move. His Dad had put something out there, a challenge, and it could go one way or another his mouth opened, dry, mind blank, and he and he couldn't say anything. "We clear, then? Fine." They continued longer than sam had the energy to count it was getting late and if it wasn't for sam's growling stomach they'd be still there he haven't taken breackfest and he was so hungry that he ate whatever mess his faher cooked and he was grateful for it . he washed the dishes, carefully using only the tips of the fingers on his left hand, keeping the newly healed skin under the thin bandage dry. He put his full concentration into the task, and pretended he was alone.

He thumbed the blister on his forefinger, where it circled in a tight half moon, all the way around at the first joint. The blister was from cocking the crossbow and then messing with the site and then firing the damn thing. He'd done that over and over and over, all afternoon. It hurt whenever he bumped it against anything, which he'd been doing constantly. He wanted to pop it to release the pressure, but Dad always said no, and gave Sam hell when he did it. Blisters turned into calluses and that was the right thing for a hunter's hands .

He spent the night with his father but not on researching or more training they were watching a movie on the small colored television they had and john was clearly in a good mood. They were eating a popcorn and it was as special nigh it has been a long time since sam spend a day like that with his father maybe john was finally proud of his son and happy to spend some time with him sam felt great all his effort was finally making an appearance but he was far along from where his father wanted him to be it was a time off as john liked to think as and that was it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay so I wanted to post two chapters in one day. I want to apologies for all the grammar mistakes I wish someone would help me anyway leave reviews to cheer me up !**

Day after day and sam didn't think he would ever see his brother again , they were hunting training researching helping other people and they were close from the beginning of the school's year and sam didn't know if his father wanted to register him in the first place but he made sure to refresh the old man's memory "hey dad the school's year is up if you don't have time to register me I can do it "john looked from the desk he was sitting in to his son and said "dean I'll be here in a couple of days and he'll do that " sam jumped at the news he couldn't hide his excitement he went all over to his father and admired him with his green shiny eyes "dad did you say that dean will be here in just a few days "john replied clearly annoyed "sam when did you become deaf yes he is " sam wanted to hug his father actually kiss the man but he won't it was embarrassing enough as it is .

The week dean was coming was the worst in the whole year it was the week his mother did and it never went good with the Winchester family their dad kept drinking dean was silent and he was confused and scared it took some time after that to go back to normal but they did the coming years john tried to spend that cursed day hunting or away from his sons so he doesn't cause them harm but this year things were a bit different john was waiting dean to come so he can go and embrace himself in his own misery sadness grief and guilt now all he has to do is be patient as much as he can with sam and hope not to kill the kid . he was becoming hard and harder on him he was angry at himself for not killing the demon that took his wife's life he wanted his sons strong stronger than they already are so they can defend themselves and maybe help killing that bitch, sam accepted everything his father dashed on him without complaining or rejecting it no matter how much It hurts. he fixed his injuries silently without a whisper of pain he tried not to cry and he succeeded most of times, he didn't show weakness and he was becoming better and better with each day and with the hope that he is so close to seeing dean, who called last night where sam was listening from behind the door of the kitchen and said that the hunt went on much than expected and he and Caleb don't know when they can finish.

Dean without a doubt knew what that meant for their father and he hoped from al his heart that sam will be okay .when sam heard his dad hung up the phone he went straight to his room and waited sure the man would tell him something but nothing happened and he went to sleep without much caring about other training for the night he lost his hope and depression overwhelmed him. John was still in the kitchen he felt like he was in a prison a prison he made for himself so he drank and drank to forget his sorrow then he left the house and went to a bar. it was two days left to Mary's death date and he since he left the house that day he never came back, sam run out of supplies and went hungry for a whole day, he kept his training regime and waited for his father to come insane thoughts were running in his head maybe his dad left him, maybe he wasn't good enough maybe he went to dean and left him alone, but he survived through the long nights, nightmares and worries.

This night someone was knocking heavily on the door sam had the gun in his hand and a flask of holy water in the other but then he heard a familiar sound so he opened the door to see his father standing in the rain with a bottle of whiskey , john pushed him out of the way and sam was now angry at the man who left him all alone and preferred to spend some nights alone not caring about him if he had food or if something happened and he wasn't afraid to show that to his father thought it wasn't a good idea " dad what the hell ! Where were you? drinking because I think I could smell you from a mile away, would you think mom would be proud of you "as soon as sam spit that out of his mouth his father slapped him square in the face but he continued "you think this will bring her back, think she would be happy about the man her husband become "sam felt consecutive slaps to his face and then fists landing freely on all his body john was yelling "shut up! shut your mouth " sam kept talking and talking in spite of his father blow out rage " she'll be ashamed of you for leaving your kids raising them this awful way , mom will never forgive neither do I " now john lost everything that was holding him from killing sam he lunched himself full power taking of his belt and whipping his son taking his hands all the way back and landing it forcefully on every inch of his son's body yelling hateful words "your mom died on top of your bed , burned on the ceiling looking at you and this is how you talk about her you unfaithful shame of a son !"Sam's heart froze at those words did his mom died because of him his vision went all black while his father kept talking " I train you so you can defend yourself against the ugly monsters out there" john breathed hard it was taking a big effort to hit and swing his hands he continued after taking some breathes " to help me kill the son of a bitch that took away my wife your mother the one you clearly don't care about " sam hasn't speak a single word after that he couldn't feel a thing it was like he wasn't even there and it was hard to register what his dad was saying "the one that died and gave her life away to save yours you describes her by being week the week and pathetique boy you are " well sam heard that one pretty clear than he zoomed again feeling everything blackening in front of him all sounds blocked and he felt cold extremely cold .

A sound roared through the hotel rooms walls it was the impala but neither john or sam registered it .it was until dean went inside the motel that he saw what was the cause of all that noise his father was drunk and he was walloping his young brother who seemed in another planet he didn't know what the kid did to cause his father to go that angry that he's never seen him that way all his life even in the shatriga incident he was worried at the force and hate john slashed Sam's skin in it , it was like the man was torching a monster rather than his own kid he never expected his dad to do such damage to his son he was taken away for a second but in the other he has taken his father's arm to get him away from his brother before he does more hurt to him Sam's mind wasn't even with them It was in a whole other place john pushed dean aggressively dean tried and tried to get his father to stop nothing worked he knew that something wasn't right that something happened and pushed his father to do this it was true that this day was always hard on him but It was something off

John was in a bar after he left sam and he was having a strong drink to get his mind to stop thinking about that night about what different thing he would've made different and save his Mary from burning and dying tragidacely he then received a call from a fellow hunter an old one in the business and he was talking about his son Sammy and he was asking different questions stranger ones and john answered each and every one until it hit him like lightening "john your son has demon blood in him" john hanged up the phone and he couldn't process the information he had to get out of there before exploding and he wasn't going back to the motel in that condition so he rather picked another hotel to stay in for the next days after he'd calmed down he called the hunter again apologized and listened to the whole story and facts . he cried until nothing else was left he was devastated by the news and he for once didn't know what to do he certainly didn't want to confront his son , but he knew something for sure he would prepare the kid get even harder on him and search a cure but most importantly kill the son of bitch who did that to his family that was his main focus , he had nightmares all nights and couldn't sleep , he dreamed of Mary his love and life he saw her image burning in front of his sight he felt sam in his hands and dean clinching to his side he was afraid of losing them of losing sam his last gift from his beloved wife the last thing she gave to the world the son she was protecting but sam needs to know what she did for him needs to be strong to respect her memory needs to be focused about hunting and killing monsters , these thoughts made him drink more and the night he returned to sam well you know what happened !

Dean was yelling "dad stop you're killing him" dean tried to protect his brother getting in the way of john who easily pushed him away although his father was extremely drunk he was still able to beat him " get out of the way dean , yar brother needs to appreciate his mother sacrifice " dean didn't fall for that excuse sam was bloody and messy " dad please for goodness sake " he was now begging pleading from his position at the floor where his father punched him and knocked him down he finally shouted when his father wasn't touched by his words" for mom's sake stop you're hurting him " that caught john in the middle of his swing he freeze and time stopped he then looked at him with cold eyes flickering with anger rage dean wasn't afraid of his father that much in all his life he backed down in defense but at least john stopped he thought to himself tears were now landing freely on his face he watched as his father put on his belt and went to the couch closing his eyes and apparently trying to sleep. After his father was away enough dean lunched at his brother side still crying and trying to snap his brother out of his meditation the kid seemed blocked in another world his eyes weren't moving "hey Sammy it is me dean " he waved his hands in front of Sam's face but nothing changed " brother you need to get out of this "no matter what dean said or tried made sam aware of what is happening around him dean could only think of one think what would've happened if he was late just a couple of minute he didn't want to think about it but that didn't stop it from crossing his mind he then gave up on that and tried to focus on fixing Sam's injuries maybe the pain I'll woke him up he felt like a dick for considering that but he was out of solutions and he feared for this state to continue he wouldn't be able to hold it together . Sam's body was severely injured that it needed a hospital but they can't risk that so dean tried to fix everything himself he was an expert by this time and after what he was forced to do under circumstances sam didn't flinch not once not when the needle went through his body without any drugs or pills not when dean had to fix his dislocated shoulder, with a broken wrist and a lot of harmed ribs.

Dean could hear the whimpers of pain later and they cutting through him he had fixed his brother injuries before hell a million times but not like this not when Sammy wasn't showing any proper responses when his dad was tight in the room and he was the one causing it he had to fixe Sam's shoulders and that needed medical assistant and help but dean had to do it on his own , it took him nearly two hours until he was done sam was clearly in agonizing pain but didn't spoke a word he felt as if his brother as mentally absent and it wasn't just shock it was something else that sliced his sole very deep , dean still had a lot of work to do and he was in a difficult position he hated his father at that point but he had to focus on his broken wrist and severe cuts that needed stitches , at that point the pain was unbearable and every time the needle went in Sam's skin he would cry in silent getting an occasional cry when things got a bit wild that was when john bellowed" dean tell your brother to stop whining like a kid "that silenced sam once and for all the kid zoomed again as if he hasn't felt any thing after that dean was going to blow at his father but he still has a work to finish so he answered from clenching teeth and a stubborn jaw with not a hint of respect "hard to do when I am stitching him up without amnesia " john must of sensed that since he walked in the room again while dean could feel Sam's body tensing up that wasn't turning up to be the right action "pardon !" said john sarcastically while he approached his younger kid and pressed on his wounds sam didn't even open his mouth he just closed his eyes and you can see the pain written all over his face , john was looking at dean daring him to compete furthermore "okay damn it, yes sir I will " john was still pressing but harder and blood was getting out of the stitching dean was doing and had to redo them again "do what ?"

" I 'll tell him to stop whining like a kid " dean hated every word come out of his mouth john raised Sam's head and backhanded him with force that caused sam to spit the blood from his mouth " heads up! you need to listen to this " he yelled "again dean ,your brother wasn't paying attention, I thought a little reminder would wake him up" dean wanted to hit his father straight in the face because what he was about to say will destroy his brother even more so he yelled out of frustration and pure anger " stop whining and suck it up Sammy !" sam who flinched under these words knew what to do knew what his family wanted from him and he was never going to let them down as he did today the day dean returned and had to put up with his stupid injuries he made a vow to himself to never let that happen again. Dean saw the betrayal looks on his brother face the one that disappeared in a matter of seconds and turned to a full hard mask a one he thought he would never ever learn how to read this wasn't the smart 16 years old boy he left three months ago and dean had one person to blame and guess who that would be …

Before john retreated to his place on the couch sam spoke in a hard tone a one he doubted he would be able to pull off under the circumstances "sir may I go and fix my wounds on my own "john starred at him from the top to the down and then agreed dean on the other hand had a different opinion "no dad what!? He can't do them on his own "john ignored him though he was still drunk out of his ass and his boys would settle this on their own. Dean now was keen on talking to his brother "sam please I didn't mean that you need …. You need my help just let me ..."and the moment he laid his hand on sam's shoulder the kid was able to spin him to the ground in spite of his injuries , he has definetly improved but dean went through similar position and experience he was able to fight his brother but he wont he'll give the kid some room to his self to think and process everything .sam went to the bathroom he didn't even bother to cry because now he was out of tears officialy he didn't want his brother to see him that way week defensless and pathetique he never hated himself as much as he did in that moment he continued stitching his wounds and rapping some of the broken ribs he was over in an hour and was quickely in bed to have a some sleep he didn't even bother to talk to dean no matter how hard his brother tried he didn't even had dinner but he didn't think he deserved it and escpecially not with his father's standers which are becoming harder and are going to be harder from what john told him .dean couldn't believe how much of a hard ass his father has become in the previous month , he never thought he would see the man in such anger and letting his frusteration on Sammy was just wrong something must of happened to trigger his father that way .

he was just stunned as how his father was able to listen to Sam's cry of pain which weren't high at all but a lot of pain was behind them , he was more stunned to hear his father yelling at Sammy to man up and stop acting like children he was only 16 what did he expect from the kid who most of people in his age cared only about their clothes their next party the new hit song they didn't have to worry about daily training routine about getting faster and faster with each daily run about consequences for being one minute late from the last day timing ,about cleaning guns or working with them about knowing each weapon and treat it like your kid knowing everything about how much does weight with bullets how much without them how to dissemble it peace by peace and put it back again in a less than a minute , how to fight beyond injuries beyond your limits when your life depends on it they don't think about these stuff that he and his brother have to handle on their owns and have to endure what happens when they slack off on their duty they have more responsibility that anyone could ever imagine and their burden can't be shared with others. The fear that comes with each hunt that maybe they could come out of it alive, maybe they'll still have each other after everything .dean knew from his experience how hard it could be to stay stoic not to show your fear in front of the old man he learned how to cry in silent how to put everything behind and lock it up the question remaining is did sam learn these lessons too? He was to find out.

he slept next to his brother and he knew what his dad wanted from him the next day .dean never used his full power while training with sam because his brother haven't yet learned what it takes to fight for your life but now that he have dean was obliged not to hold anything back or he'll be in deep troubled water .he woke up the next day with sam not in sight his hard sank deep and he went hysterical he searched the room the bathroom every room and there was still the kitchen to check out he saw his father who was now sober "dad did you see sam ?" john sipped his coffee noticing his son body language and everything and he responded very calmly "he'll be here soon he went for his run" dean seemed to relax a bit after the explanation so he sat down by his father and ate his breakfast . sam was there ten minutes late he entered the room out of breaths face red eyes chiming and full of sweat " sam come we're having breakfast " said dean already fixing his brother a plate when he didn't hear any response he looked his brother who was now eyeing the floor "I don't want to eat, may I be excused sir " sam was now looking at his father with the head up and full stand at attention dean could see something was different so different john eyed his son and guiltily said " why don't you want to eat? I know we haven't discussed what happened yesterday but ..."he was cut off by sam who said with dry emotion "what happened is past , all forgotten as for the reason I don't wanna eat is because I don't deserve it now sir do I have your permission to leave "dean couldn't be more choked than that what the hell did sam mean he didn't deserve it who doesn't deserve to have breackfest that is insane what was going in sam's mind ?dean didn't know what to say but he waited his father to explain "okay you have thirty minutes " what was dean thinking of course he wont get an explanation from john Winchester dahh


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks to all the people who followed me in my first story I welcome all suggestions and thanks for the support .i wish to know your opinion on how the story should end. I have a total of 300 views for now I don't know if that is good or no but I want to continue writing not just to improve my English but I am starting to enjoy the experience and the chance to write for people is just overwhelming. I just finished reading a book called a boy called "it" for Dave Pelzer and I found it disturbing and hard to believe but that doesn't mean it isn't real or that some kids might have gone through similar experiences you might find it amusing to read it so if you do share me your thoughts.

he has one chance and it's to get it out of sam himself which appeared even harder dean couldn't recognize sam anymore where did that happy nerdy boy disappeared he knew the answer to that question but didn't want to think about it anymore so he went after his brother leaving his father alone by the kitchen table .john who was feeling a bit guilty is still feeling a bit guilty no matter what sam said he knew he hurt the kid deep down he was out of control but at least sam seemed to be learning better and john didn't want to believe that what he was doing to his kids wasn't the right thing that would destroy him more than any monster could .dean once again didn't interfere with his father point of view he had one job and it is to keep his brother safe and sound and if that meant putting pieces back right to each other he didn't mind it at all he would gladly do it no matter how long it would take from him but in order to do that he has to know what is going in his brother's head what did he mean by I don't deserve it did the kid thinks that he doesn't deserve food and why ? he tried to follow sam as the kid got out of the kitchen heading for the clearing behind the house but his father stopped him "dad what the hell is happening what did you do to him? "he wasn't able to contain his anger anymore and he blow up in front of his dad john didn't waste any time yanking his son's arm and pinning him to the table and in a matter of seconds he took out his belt and started to whip his eldest. the last night was his younger and today was dean sam heard everything he wasn't much away and those belts could be heard from a mile away although he took a lot of these whipping in these couple of months he still have standing hairs at the back of his neck, his breath always stops at the sound of the belt whistling in the air, he always closes his eyes when the belt touches his body and he for the love of god can't stop his hands from sweating ,but he blocked all these sounds isolating himself training his ears to listen to his father commands only he learned this trick after a lot of practice and john didn't disappoint his son in these situations he barked orders and sam obeyed knowing what major consequences came from disregarding commands and the few times he chose to ignore well he learned the lesson in the hard way .

sam fixed his attention now at the training he was becoming better and better each day and closer to match his father as an opponent and not a punch bag ,he was blowing fists at a hard core tree planted in the ground his father has set it to him to make his hands stronger to not feel pain after hitting some monster in the jaw or landing some well-aimed fists to knock someone out it still had blood from Sam's workout and it will have flesh this time since sam didn't held anything back he was getting his frustration out he wasn't feeling anything not even a sting maybe this exercise is finally paying off something else than excruciating pain at nights he was still hitting forcefully and blood was now leaking from his hands flesh was starting to rip out small pieces at each blow he stopped when he sensed his father presence so he looked up from his training and casted a look at his dad wanting to see if the man wants anything or if he is satisfied by what he is doing ,john was a hard man to please and his sons were the most people who knew that and experienced it time after time over and over again until they stopped their dreams about getting a word of praise for their efforts, dean was finding it hard to stand but he didn't want to look like a kid so he adjusted his poster after his father finished his punishment and followed the man he was stunned at seeing the reaction between his father and sam the kid was practically asking permission and acceptance which he never did before .

john nodded his head and that was enough for sam who in spite of seeing his brother didn't made any move towards him he didn't acknowledge his presence in the first place turning his attention only on his father he continued training .Dean was amazed by the way his brother turned to he didn't know if he should like it or no but sam was doing his father orders without hesitation he is turning to be the perfect soldier but something was wrong dean could feel it in his bones he stood there still watching is brother landing fist after the other he noticed that the kid has lost some weight but he is more muscular and he has grown a bit too his bangs are longer and his eyes has lost some of their sparkle maybe it was the fatigue or what those eyes has seen lately that pushed dean to wonder if john took Sam with him in dangerous hunt thinking about that made his stomach hurt and flip. The Winchester men's were spending the afternoon in silent Sam is still training Dan is observing every movement his brother did and John was enjoying the sun as well as watching both of his son's ,dean couldn't believe how much his brother work out it's true that they used to train a lot but he never has seen Sammy this eager to train and prove himself although their father didn't seem impressed that much but dean could see Sam and know the effort he is making and he was so proud of the kid .

the silent was short lived" go and join you brother dean I want both of you to do some sparring and no holding back you got that "Dean responded quickly as the good son he was "yes sir "he walked the distance and now facing each other properly since he arrived he felt a bit of sadness that this is going to be the first thing they do damn this life is all he could thing off before they started. They started pretty fast with Sam lunching viciously towards Dean who soon caught the movement and avoided the punch, he tried to stay out of reach and not cause too much damage but john saw that f course and yelled "both of you step it up or you'll face deep consequences .Sam was also backing up and not using all his force was also making some mistakes on purpose both of the brothers hated the fact that they are fighting each other to please the old man but John was furious he wanted to see the progress Sam has made and compare it to dean but since both of them aren't giving it their best he won't be able to do so ."Dean! Sam come here "he yelled from the place he was sitting in both kids obeyed standing in attention in front of him ,head up and eyes fixed on him listening to what he has to say they were in deep trouble and they knew it now they have to face their dad's anger "what is going on with you two ?"none of them replied john tried again in that lower tone of his which used to always scare the crap out of his kids the moment he spoke, his tone was able alone to give them the push they needed to reply" I asked you both a question now answer!" but this time it didn't work since none of the boys spoke a word .this was new often one of them would break to save the other john thought to himself but he knew just how to brake their silence , he first had to take some deep breath not to break one of his kids jaw or worse he was known of his temper and Dean could feel Sam tensing beside him so he gently gave him a reassuring node which didn't help easing his nerves but made him feel somehow safe .

John finally spoke "okay dean since you don't want to fight with your brother I am more willing train him myself you can go "dean felt a lightening hitting him that was the worst thing he can ever do letting his father fight with Sam. his father is strong big muscular and fast he'll be able to put sam down in less than a minute but since they are training the old man would make the process longer he would strain the kid off his power slowly and then he'll start the real fighting he himself never recovered fully after a session with his father yes he trained him but that was before he became a hard ass Sargent. Dean tried to convince his father "dad no please I am sorry I'll do it ..."but john was already off his chair and now one on earth would change is mind now "oh so now you have a tongue! I made my mind so I suggest you don't make it harder on your brother and do as I said! "Now he was yelling and it was clearly an order and orders are made to be followed they learned that both the hard and easy way and it always ended the same way so why causing more troubles. Dean backed away and watched with sad eyes what was about to happen he just wanted his brother to come out of it with the less injuries possible .John didn't disappoint he was fighting with force and caution too always remembering himself that this is his kid not a monster but Sam has to think the opposite of that if he want to survive. John was able to knock Sam off several times but the kid was doing great he improved a lot and he was able to land some hits to his father but exhaustion was later taking a roll on him they were fighting constantly for 4 hours and Sam was on the verge of passing out he was so tired they only stopped to drink water and his father didn't give him any time to relax at all not even 5 minutes Dean tried that but he failed and earned himself some hard glares from the hunter.

Sam couldn't fight anymore he was barely holding himself together leaning on his knees and using his hands to support himself dean saw that "dad how about you two relax for a while hah "john wasn't paying any mind to his eldest he was addressing his youngest now "on your feats Sam now "he bellowed Sam responded immediately "yes sir " he knew better than to disobey ,these past few months taught him a lot about his father and his multiple way of making sure he would be sorry terribly sorry if he said anything more than those two words .they continued their fight for another 30 minutes but Sam was being thrown to the ground harshly and he was finding it each time hard to stand up again "if you'd practice on your pushups and sit ups more you'd be able to lift yourself now come on !"Sam was weak to respond he didn't have the energy that's when Dean interfered "dad please it is enough you have been training him for 5 hours now can't you at least give him a break" john was furious he was heading towards his eldest when sam stopped him by the arm "no I am up we can continue "dean was amazed at the speed is brother reacted in, but he knew that he was just saved from a harsh punishment. Dean couldn't bear to see anything else so he went inside the house .Sam and John didn't come in until two hours later, he looked drained from all power and from will he just popped on the bed with not even a hot shower Dean felt guilty if he just trained the kid himself all of this wouldn't have happened but his father was teaching him a lesson and he sure drove it home.

Sam took 3 hours sleep and he still didn't have any food it was night and a whole day without a full stomach and training didn't set in Dean's mind that well he soon woke the kid up and guided him to the kitchen where he poured him a full plate of home-made cooking, they were all sitting together and it was almost 3 months and a half since they last did this and Dean feared that just like the other time bad news will be announced but luckily nothing happened the next few days John kept training Sammy but for longer periods giving him even researching to do and quizzing him all the time Dean could see the strict order his father was playing there running for 3 hours then breakfast and if Sam was late by one minute he will be deprived from what seem like a privilege in his younger brother's eyes ,followed by a harsh and intensive sparring for two hours then it is handling guns for two hours and it is not just fairing Sam has to know the exact weight of each gun loaded and unloaded he has to know and memorize every single information about them he has to take them apart and put them together in one peace in less than a minute and blindfolded and that is all before setting the targets and hitting them in balls eyes each time with perfect precision and do any of this things wrong you'll spend the whole day doing it over and over again till you can't feel your hands and Dean wouldn't believe this was happening if he hadn't see it in his own eyes one time his brother missed or didn't step to his father satisfactions he'll have to do the same thing the entire day without even complaining with a single word or they'll be consequences he'll just have to obey and suffer silently he just didn't know how Sam was able to endure all this for so long and his brother wasn't just the kind who'll do that there have to be some reason but he just couldn't find it for now he was still thinking about the schedule of training .

So after the guns there is the body build exercising which lasted for two hours and damn those exercises who burn you from the inside out Dean was doing those with his brother and the first time he did them he spend a lot of time in the bathroom throwing up and feeling nausea taking over him, Sam seemed to do them effortlessly like doing the beds or cleaning the room maybe it was the fact that he was doing them frequently and probably for longer periods of time ,but John seemed to realize that since he upped the number of each work out by the double giving only 30 extra minutes .after that they would have lunch also if Sam was behind he won't get lunch Dean had to pass him some food secretly since he wasn't allowed any for getting late with his pushups since his hands were killing him for unknown reason yeah bullshit Dean thought but still Sam refused to eat saying as it become usual I didn't deserve it. then Sam would have to train with knives crossbows bows and other things which took a total of three hours it would be 4 in the afternoon then it will be more sparring and cleaning the guns and stuff they won't be back inside the house until 6 o clock then reading books from 7 to 9 and dinner until they wake up the next morning that was basically their everyday routine it would change a bit from day to the other but the pain the agitated muscles the injuries broses cuts are still the same .Sam never allowed his brother to help him with injuries but later after some insistent he allowed him .

Dean saw how hard his father was on Sam he punished him severely and his methods of raining has changed a lot ,Sam was at some point wearing weights on his hands legs and he had to go through the whole day with them other times he would be allowed to rest but he still do everything in others he would have to do enduring exercises and those were like hell on earth and they were never the same and most of all any mistake will result a whipping with the belt and that stroke Dean the most Sam was never complaint in a punishment and he was now accepting everything that was strange .his father would count every wrong thing in his opinion Sam made and he would punish him in the night calling him to his room while Dean would be in bed awake or no and he rarely heard any noise coming from his brother in spite the harsh treatment he was taking he felt more ashamed not to be able to save his brother from such pain but the least he can do is to address Sam's wounds and help the injuries to recover as much as possible .

He tried to convince his father to stop what he is doing the moment he saw the long welt all along the kid's body but that got him a whipping himself and Sam begged him not to say anything else declaring that it was always his mistake his fault his slaking off that he deserved to be whipped for all he did wrong and that the important thing is to be together. Sam changed a lot that was all Dean could think off the kid isn't even the same his spirit is shattered his heart is confused his brain is programmed and no matter how hard he convinced him to open up Sam didn't he would say he is fine and they'll go through this but he will never be able to get over it and Dean hated his father for that fact for destroying the innocence in his brother's eyes.

They were now going in hunts with sam taking a good part and killing some monsters with his bare hands switching in a second to full soldier hunter mode but that was just a mask for his father Dean could sense that because he spent a good amount of his nights trying to calm his brother's nightmares and they weren't just from hunts no Dean later knew that they were form horrifying experience the kid has went through he knew little about those experiences but what he knew was enough to not ask the full story better to keep it locked than out .

There was still a lot of secrets hidden with Sam but days passed and his training was officially over school was in its start and they were finally out of that town.

But what will be the extent of Sam's experience in his school life and will Dean ever get a glimpse of what happened with him? Maybe a sequel I don't know should I?


End file.
